I’m well aware its time to get healthy. 

How can I serve myself when I feel so filthy?

I overthink, I don’t let go – my mind is a messy clutter. 

My visions blurred, it makes me feel lost and fluttered. 

I constantly replay the scenes from my past

then I skip to now to compare and contrast. 

 

It does me no good to live my life this way

I’m ready to be carefree an relearn how to play. 

So I drive by myself down the lonely highway

to pick up fruit and a big fragrant bouquet. 

The flowers make me smile and I gain some headway, 

my mood starts to lighten and the grey goes away. 

It’s simple pleasures like these that make me so gay –

an easy slow drive through the mountains on a Tuesday 

that remind me I know how to climb the big stairway. 

I’m really good at closing myself off,

but its because of this that I’ve finally read Chekhov. 

 

I have one foot on the step, my hand is gripping the rail. 

I get real distracted and want a pale ale. 

I shake that urge, I refocus and consciously exhale. 

I need all my energy or else I might bail

and I can’t do that nor can I fail. 

I know I have a long journey ahead, 

I’m resisting the temptation to give up and be led.

So I’m finally pulling myself together

striving everyday to be a little better.

 

It has to be easier than I’m making it

so I’m reframing the window so I can benefit.

I’ve been learning quite a bit and still have more to go

I know its up to me how long I’m gonna row.

I have to have faith that it will happen

as I’m climbing the stairs out of the canyon

making my own pace while slaying my dragons 

working my way up so I can sit in the wind and listen to the aspen.