Uncertainty about the future
never really comfortable
staying in the moment
as best as possible
in a foreign land
relying on foreign funds
to sustain me and my life
not allowed to legally work
a luxurious prison of my own making
paradisical for sure
spending time as I choose
I just can’t shake the worry.
the worry about how money will come my way
ones step at a time
on day
one moment
finding the balance of staying in the present
whilst planning for the future…
A sweet love
really?
no.
daisies and roses
thorns yes.
lovely fragrance yes.
beauty yes.
blooming to be showcased
to be experienced
then to wither
and bit by bit have it’s beauty removed
by nature
by the elements
the inconsiderate
impersonal elements of mother nature
she knows best apparently
and she’ll rob one of its beauty, youth
essence…
she’ll take it all.
so enjoy whatever it is…
NOW
NOW
NOW
I ask for love
torrential and unwaivering love
of full hearts and blind eyes
of loyalty that stories are written about
I want to feel the depths of emotion
to grow and evolve with another person…
I ask for all of this –
and I will get it.
I get what I ask for
it doesn’t always feel warm and fuzzy
mostly it doesn’t these days
with a deep thick pain in my chest
enveloping and encompassing my heart space
yes
SPACE
with a pinch in my throat and with tears just about to fall…
Is this the love I ask for?
A hilltop castle
offering stability
to see
like never before
sharpened clarity
spectrum colored view
one bliss filled i remains true
i refute the idea that all life is suffering.