looking over at his smiling eyes
a reflection of me
as the sun says goodbye
perched in the meadow
listening to the aspen
a beautiful place
amidst the tall grasses
a lucid dream
so time spent with him seems
with him
or with me
its all the same
but i do like the energy
that circulates back to me again and again
a pure love
as pure as one might find
of two people coming together
without attachment
one and one is one when we unite…
thoughts of a lover swirl in my head
a migration of energy
uniting in a time and place
where my soul was nourished and fed
just for a moment
a savory introduction
attachments, attachments whatever do they mean?
the stated mores of this reality…
a brilliant connection that can never be seen
dancing around in my head like a dream…
the smells of the flowers
the gentle loving touch of a hand
being led through the thicket
by a soul in the form of a beautiful man
a sharing that was pure
not one of “placated people who play by the rules”
i had to get away
so perhaps i am one of those fools
the memory stays with me
as it always will with you…
I inspire others
others inspire me
trust my instincts
go with that flow
realize it all changes
there’s nothing to hold on to
its all just energy
momentarily held in form
its hard to not be fooled by my eyes
to not trust what I see
but its all just a projection
imagined by me –
the power of the human mind
is beyond comprehension
the endless possibilities
the unlimited potential
the awaiting opportunities
inspiration
growth
Constantly evolving
continuously morphing
switching scenes
alternating environments
feeling the essence of life
through my mind
the gifted senses
and various lovers –
exploring the land
expanding time
with a swollen heart
rosy eyes
traveling with light
Am I sharing too much of me?
Is that even a possibility?
I just want to be free
when life is filled with such uncertainty
I say it as I feel it
I’m always connected but I just never fit
I know I’m not the only one not engendered from a kit
like one of Nana’s uneven perfect stitches
that all come together with that common thread
turning patches into one big bedspread…
I put it out there
no other release can compare
I’m not always fair
but I always care.
Don’t bare too much soul
a kind of messenger said to me in a dream
you can’t take it back its not what it seems
then all of the sudden a night sky
turns into a ceiling full of beams.
but it is just me – I must remind –
the same yet different girl still confused by time
who enjoys writing thoughts in a rhyme
which makes her happy and feel quite fine…
I want to kill that mosquito
the one that keeps biting me
and draining my chi
it comes to me in the night
when I have given up the fight
it takes up my energy and doesn’t allow me to write
Please find another body to bother
I want to gain my own closure
but its hard when it is also a haggler
in my mind… possibly so
and even though I’ve left I haven’t fully let go
so it flies around me when my head hits the pillow
I am now a hemisphere away
but it finds me anyway…
I guess I must really be drenched by the rain
for it to leave me and cause me no more pain.
So Let the Rain Fall!
Leave Me Be Mosquito!
when we open up and share
when we open up and care
when we start the affair
when we’re naked and bare
in the lovely night’s air
when we decide we are a pair
we’ll embrace and hug like a bear
we’ll be so aware
of each other and our welfare
until one day the dream turns into a nightmare
out of nowhere
and you declare its all in the name of warfare
as you step on my toe and pull my arm hair
as I try to sleep in my comfy nightwear
you exchange a glower for a loving stare
I know it is you speaking from dispair
but I have to leave before before it gets there
you know where I mean and I must prepare
so I run as fast as I can up the stairs
I get on my knees and I say a little prayer
and soon it is over and you say its unfair
that I can just walk away in my old footwear
letting down my bunned long blond hair
trying my best to let go and repair
my dearest true soul and take it elsewhere
beyond where it has been, creating a new lair
where I can be whole again, starting in a new square
eventually I will love again and forget the dispair
I’ll sit in another single armchair
until it is time to share another set of cookware
when others look and say what a great couple they’re
and it all starts again when I am brave and take up the dare
I’ve learned my best not to compare
so I’ll let it be love, precious and rare.
Way back in the day, back seven or so years now… a lover told me… “I love you, man…” I broke his heart, I didn’t mean to, it was never my intention. He loved me but I wasn’t there. It scared me away needless to say and since he said it in a scene where others were at the time… they then started to tease me about it. Then it just became the saying… “I love you, man…” that we would use endearingly and frequently I might add…
So now I find myself back in Yosemite where it all began. I opened up a webpage to listen to some music and there I see an ad. The ad is for a movie entitled none-other-than… “I LOVE YOU, MAN” and to top it off… it comes out on my birthday March 20th…
A funny coincidence? Maybe… It certainly did make me smile… love… what a funny thing… it is amazing how it all comes back around… in some fashion in some way in a time when we are least expecting it… I am going to take this as a friendly reminder of a moment a while back…
I don’t want to be a heart breaker
I want to find balance between giver and taker
I want to fly high, I want to fill your cup
I want to love you dearly
But surely I know I will want to break up
I don’t want to break your heart in the process
Don’t take it personally, it just me… I still want to progress
I’ll experience what you have to offer
I’ll see how I am affected by it
And as easily as I’ll fall in love
I’ll fall right back out…
Don’t take it personally that I chose a different route
I wish I knew how to be another way
And still be happy and joyful every day
This is why I need time to be alone
Spending days all on my own
Falling in love with myself and who I am
Learning about me and learning how to stand
I will reach down low and stretch way high
I’ll try to keep my feet on the floor
While I let my mind and soul fly
It has to start with me first
I will try to break my heartbreak curse
As one love once said as he sat still
“If you let me love you, I will”
Now its time for me to instill
This thought of love and acceptance
Of hope and repentance
For me first and then for you
Then in my life I can be one of two
I owe it to myself to do this now
I’ve not done it before, I’m not really sure how
So, I will do what I think is best
Cutting myself off from the rest
Until I figure out a bit more
Until I reach to the depths of my core
Where I find my own true love for my soul
Then I’ll come back out to play
With a refreshed outlook on the day
Where I can confidently believe and say
“I love my self whole-heartedly for who I am”
until this happens I will not accept another person’s heart in my hand,
first I must know about myself in order to know love and understand.
I always take the guilt,
I always take the blame,
and yet its me to blow out the flame.
I try my best up to a point
while I watch you light a joint
by this time I am already done
I’m tired of battling and you’ve just begun
then comes the time to plea and bargain
but I’m not up for sale, this isn’t an auction.
I give more chances than I ever should
I look past it all and try to see the good
I know you’re smart and that you’ve understood
then starts the “I could’ve, would’ve, should’ve,”
when all I want is to be free of any falsehoods.
I never understand when you act so hurt
after hearing and seeing all of the signs of alert
I prefer the mountains but can handle the desert
but I’m a water baby and won’t convert.
So let me be free
let me swim as I please
let me buzz around with the honey bees
reaping life’s bounties
smelling the field of daisies
where I wont be made fun of for driving like its sunday
as it is my mode of life to get lost and enjoy the day
so if you can be a bit carefree, please stay
and if not don’t be hurt when I go my own way.