Month: April 2016

Muse

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The idea that I am a channel for a muse is exciting. I know I have served as a muse for numerous people and I am curious if that also exists in that way. That whenever you are ready, the muse will arrive in whatever form, in the form of inspiration, or some supernatural kind of thought or vision, or literally in physical form in front of you.

In Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic she talks about how the genius is the person who works beside you, it isn’t you. This isn’t a new idea, but it’s the most recent reference I have on hand. Further both her and Steven Pressfield talk about how the muse will visit many people before they find the one that is ready to take on the project.

I then wonder if that has any influence on the fact that in different areas of the world, without modern communication tools, ancient civilisations were progressing with similar hand made tools, and languages. It could be that they were open to it, and they received the inspiration to start making hieroglyphs, or to start tracking the seasons using tombs and rocks.

So how to be open to the the muse? My first thought is the equation Preparation + Opportunity = Success. Perhaps adding in to that a holding of the space in which to create that success is necessary, hence the idea of sitting down to write every single day like it’s a job so that the muse knows you are serious, knows you are there waiting, holding the space, ready to do the work.

 

Token for One Life

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I read something earlier that reminded me that this is only one wild and crazy life that I am given. That feeling of scarcity does two things, first it makes me freak out a bit and think oh my god. The other thing that happens is it spurs my mind into motion about how I can make the best most amazing life possible.

If I know I only have one life to live, then it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about me or who I am. None of it matters. All that matters is sharing the love I have with my family and friends, and any excess, with the rest of the world.

If I think about only having one life to live, my mind then starts to jump to being a whole new person in a whole new level of playing this game of life. I have already lived many reincarnations of myself in “different lives” in this body, but there is still so much I will accomplish, that I am accomplishing, that I will experience in my lifetime.

How will I best use this token? How will I best create anchors in my life to help me on my way to creating the better version of myself and my life every single day?

Women and Entrepreneurship

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Every female entrepreneur in the scene seems to be the same same but different to me. It’s like they had this crazy corporate life, drank way too much in their younger days, had a series of relationships that didn’t fit, and finally came around to help other women get through and find what they are looking for in money, love, and health. I am also amazed at how many women have had eating disorders and now talk about them. I really had no idea that this many women really hated their bodies and were so bad to themselves in that way. This part I do not relate to on their journey, but I certainly relate to a lot of it.

The thing is as I hear it or read it, it just feels almost bland to me now that I’ve been exposed to this scene for a few years now. It feels like it needs shaking up. I know that not everyone is meant to be a one-on-one coach and that’s great, but I guess now everyone has the opportunity to publish their own work, be their own talk show host and a lot of women are taking advantage of this.

I totally support this. I really genuinely support women taking a stand and doing life a different way. It’s like we have to. It feels like we are moving out of the stage where we were trying to be like men, to a stage where we are owning our own space, way and process of getting there.

New Hair Salon Unsolicited Advice

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Browsing a local online coupon buying system similar to GroupOn, I found a hair salon that wasn’t too far from my house with what I would consider to be a smashing deal. Three and a half hours is the amount of time it takes to typically colour, cut and style my hair in the salon, even when it’s just shoulder length. I have really thick hair and it’s a blessing, but it’s also a big deal. The last time I went into the salon I felt like I had been bitch slapped when at the end the gal said it was going to be over $200. Sure, the amount of time, but really?! So this deal was just over a quarter of that price, so I jumped on it.

The salon isn’t in a fancy area, I daresay it’s the opposite, its near the train station in a town that isn’t one that people tell other people to come to because of all the great attractions it has, and that is fine. From the outside it could have been really derelict inside, but to my surprise it was coordinated, had a relatively fun feel to it, and it suited the job for the 2 hairdressers that own and work the salon. Great.

As I’m sitting down I cannot help but put my marketing eyes and brain to work. It’s natural, it’s what I think about a lot, I enjoy looking at businesses and finding ways that they can improve and be more successful. There are many things that I pick up on including the very basic option of having a self service tea and coffee stand while I wait. This is super easy and would not take much to put together. A simple beverage station would quench any thirst, and buy the hair dresser time so that that customer doesn’t feel like they are waiting too long.

When I got to the seat, I asked how many of these deals they had sold, and the guy said a lot. He didn’t know how much but that’s okay, I already knew it was over two thousand when I booked. I asked if they were in charge of pricing and he said that they weren’t and it was undervaluing his service and he said he has always charged appropriately for his service prior to now. I agreed. I said that many artists have a hard time charging their value, so it’s great as a service art that he had that under control, or did.

I asked how many people would be repeats, how many customers would actually return a second time, and he said that a lot would. Sure, I am just a nobody to them and of course they might not want to devulge their business information to me, and I get that, but I think he really didn’t know. The girl is the one who is the main owner and apparently takes care of all of that, but since there are only two of them, I would think it’s in his best interest to ensure that he is on top of it too since it directly affects his own pocket, and his reputation by undercutting his service via price.

Anyway, I asked a few questions here and there, and in the end I could tell that I needed to talk to her. So when I had the chance, when she was helping me out, I asked her, but she wasn’t really open to talking about it, other than using this ScoopOn service was to help promote their business and drive their old customers back to them.

Some things I would suggest for an up and coming, or a newly established salon to do is to 1) get the word out 2) build trust 3) create word of mouth 4) drive repeat service. Since they used Facebook to show the before and after pictures of the hair they had done and the positive reviews customers had left, this is why I chose to go to them. I suggested doing more of this to help build trust and tell their story of their value that way.

Sure using a GroupOn style service can be helpful to drive customers through the door, but it’s those same customers who will likely jump ship when another lower price comes around. They are shopping for price and usually aren’t loyal to the business. So it would be up to the salon to keep them coming back. A great way is to keep using the before and after pictures and posting them on Facebook inviting the customer to tag themselves in the photo. By simply using Facebook, they could connect with so many people. With enough customer’s before and afters they would build trust and give a pretty clear picture of their skill set before you set foot in the salon. Also by inviting the customer to tag themselves, it would then spread the word as other people would also see it who are friends with the person tagged. This is super simple and could be very effective.

For enticing a repeat service, they could offer a loyalty card so that if they came 4 times, the 5th time they got an add on for free, like a treatment or a blowout, etc. The salon could text the customer since they have those details and offer something specific to have them come again after six weeks when it’s time for a trim or a root touch up. They could create a “happy hour” so that those value driven customers know that they can come back during 2p-4p Tuesday and Wednesdays for a great price.

It’s fine to use a discount, but to do so right out the gate of opening the business feels counterproductive. There are other ways that marketing efforts can be used. However, since they have already done it, these suggestions could help them in the future. It’s all unsolicited advice and it’s up to the business if they will succeed.

 

Pre-Motherhood Judgey Bitch

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Whoa. I used to be the biggest judgey bitch about how other people were handling, or not handling their children in public. It was not beyond me at all to roll my eyes, give dirty looks, and sigh heavily when I would be around a child melting down or wild children running about reeking havoc in the grocery store. I used to always ask to myself and sometimes loud enough to where they probably could hear… “why can’t they control their children?!”. I am certain that I was not the only single person in the history of single people to have said something like that or have behaved so appalling. I was just as bad and I certainly did not make the situation any better.

Fast forward to now, where I have a baby and know very intimately what it is like to to a child into the grocery store, or any shop for that matter. There are times when my child is just so over being in his pram, or in the grocery cart and he lets everyone around know. My baby has an incredibly strong voice, his projection is something that amateur theatre actors would love to have, and for him it just comes naturally. Oh so naturally.

Now when my baby has a melt down and demands that i give him a squeezy yogurt in the shop, you know what? I do! I give him the damn thing. I let my child eat the food in the grocery store before we even pay for it. Yes, I am that person. I am also that person who is trying her best to concentrate on what has the least amount of sugar so I can give it to him all the while he is yelling and sometimes producing real tears. It’s crazy. It’s so crazy that I know I am putting off a vibe for everyone around to move out of my way while I try my best to stay calm, take deep breaths and carry on. I do my best to stay composed and I do, I really do. Underneath though… oh lord. However, I know that I need to not give him the attention, or whatever in that moment, I just need to make sure he is taken care of. I don’t want a tantrum thrower, please, not one of those!

The interesting thing is that when I see other people with kiddos, especially while this is happening, I can see the compassion, they totally understand. Then I see the oldies and they may have forgotten and seem kind of shocked. Then I see all the singletons who are quietly judging just like I did. Just wait singletons… just wait until it’s your turn.

 

Weaving Paths

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Life is so funny sometimes, most times really. I have noticed that people are weaved in and out of my life on a regular basis. Some of them I may have met, our paths had crossed, but nothing to fully keep us connected other than superficially on social media. That’s fine. The cool thing is that, as time progresses, the connection deepens, and we are able to communicate on a deeper level. It’s really beautiful.

I wonder if it also has to do with a lot of these really interesting and soulful people I met while traveling, after returning from Brazil, after diving into meditation. I was like a free radical at the time, not held down by anything. Maybe I didn’t open up completely, or maybe at the time they didn’t either. Maybe we didn’t have that one-on-one time which I find so valuable to be able to really connect with someone. Maybe it’s the wall of observation that I may put up sometimes, especially if I am new to joining a group. I like to see what they are about, what is going on, and then proceed accordingly. I wonder if that also creates a different sense of trust, or lack of trust. Who knows. Who really knows.

Gratitude is what I feel when my path and theirs reunites in this intergalactic inter web of life. It’s beautiful. I love getting to share and learning about myself and others in the process. I love that we get to catch up and allow that space to do so. Yes, thank you, more please.

Sharing Love

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I like to send cards to people. I used to hand paint and hand write them myself. I even used to hand cut them. All of this has been uber duber simplified since I have become a mother. For many reasons, mostly because of lack of “personal time” to fully be present in the making and creating of these gifts when bub is around. Currently my prime “me” time is when he naps, which is now down to one nap a day, which I am not overly happy about for the record, a second nap would make for a much happier baby and mama in my opinion, but I will happily take the early bed time if the other nap is skipped.

Thankfully the world and technology keeps on moving along so I don’t have to spend the time that i don’t really have and still be able to send cards, and I even have an app on my phone for it. How nice it is. How nice it is to be able to quickly and easily send someone a card when I am thinking of them. In a matter of a few minutes I can customise a card with a photo on it, and I can then send it out to them and rest assured that it will be printed, stamped and mailed for me. I love conveniences that make life easier without having to sacrifice on my own personal values.

Since I have opened up a bit about the very traumatic birthing process I had with my baby, many other women have since also opened up privately with me sharing their story of trauma regarding their birthing experience. It’s big. I wonder how many women actually experience something that is so hard and challenging but never get to fully express it because the societal pressure is to then move on and just be happy that the baby is healthy and here. It’s strange. and I’ve gone through it myself.

This easy card sending app then helps me to reach out to women, and this morning I reached out and sent a card to a woman I know in the US who I know will love it when she opens it. There really is something special about not only sharing the love, but doing so in a physical manner, in a way that allows for a keepsake so that the other person is reminded again and again of that love. It’s so easy to also send a text or an email, or post on someones page, but the physical letter or card really goes to the distance.

Take time to share the love. There are no downsides to this. It is good for everyone involved, absolutely everyone.

Eating and Sexy Time

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Earlier I was joking with my husband that if we have sweets in the morning, then we wouldn’t have sexy time later. Just a simple cause and effect, if and then situation. He was baffled and responded “Now you tell me after all these years” and I really laughed.

The idea that if you are satisfying your cravings with sugar instead of physical touch and orgasms, then it’s already done. The craving is satisfied. It’s like food takes the place of sexy time. Also in the same way that you don’t want to have sexy time if you are full. You want to lounge, you want to switch off in a passive way.

Nothing about sexy time with my husband is passive.  Although I was partially joking. We did have to prove the theory wrong. I daresay that if we didn’t set out to prove it wrong, then it would have held more weight!

Low BS Tolerance

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I’ve come to realise that my tolerance level for bullshit has become very very low. I can see right through it and it just makes me baffled. It’s hard for me to follow along these days. I do mean these days too, as before, it wasn’t always like that…

Perhaps clean living with regular meditation has added to this clarity, and if it has, I am so grateful. Perhaps it is the wisdom that comes with years living on this earth. Perhaps it is the wisdom that comes from experience of being in enough situations where the BS was so out of control, that I had to excavate my whole life to see what was real and what was left and then began again.

Who knows. I am thankful though.

What is Mine Will Always Be

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In the same way that Marketing has moved from a Push, Push, Push environment where the company was pushing their product onto the consumer, to a Pull environment where the consumer is pulled to the product by clever communication strategies, life in general is appears to also hold that trend and truth.

I have total faith that what is mine will always be mine and this is the pull system. The life I want and will have will always be mine, it could only ever be mine. If I work on myself, find ways to improve and implement those changes, if I do my best to help others and serve and grow in that way, all of these changes lead to and make up my life. This is true for anyone, if you continue to put out your own energy of who you are and what you are here to do, then life will come to you! Life comes to me! All I have to do is hold true to who I am, be the best that I can be, and move forward with action to create the life I want, and it all happens.

When people tell me that so and so stole their partner from them, I internally question what was really going on for that to happen. What in their relationship went so sour that it got to that point? Furthermore, I don’t believe that anyone can ever be “stolen” from someone else. If they are yours, if they are the one you are meant to be, your love will endure, there will be no question, and that’s it. It has nothing to do with ownership over someone else, more to do with ownership of your self. Personal responsibility and taking ownership of the fact that you have a certain pull or attraction about your person, it’s your energy, your vibe, your way of being, this is what keeps your life the way it is.

As soon as you start changing your mind on things, start changing your life, your energy will change too, and it’s all okay. The things and people and places that were a part of your life before the change that are truly there and in accordance to the vibe you are giving off, will stay, and the ones that no longer jive will drop off, fade away and this is all okay.

What is mine will always be mine. What is yours will always be yours. When you feel that sense of competition, remember this, as nothing that is yours can be taken away, because it wasn’t yours in the first place, and that is okay.