Finding Me

Fast and Tao 22

Posted on by admin

In the past few months I have been reading a passage from Tao te Ching every night. I have read them all and now randomly flip to a page. This one came last night and I thought it was fitting. Although I am trying to refrain from certain input that comes from technology during my fast, but I thought I would share this as an output…

Tao 22

If you want to become whole,

let yourself be partial.

If you want to become straight,

let yourself be crooked.

If you want to become full,

let yourself be empty.

If you want to be reborn,

let yourself die.

If you want to be given everything,

give everything up.

 

The Master, by residing in the Tao,

sets an example for all beings.

Because he doesn’t display himself,

people can see his light. 

Because he has nothing to prove,

people can trust his words.

Because he doesn’t know who he is,

people recognize themselves in him.

Because he hsa no goal in mind,

everything he does succeeds.

 

When the ancient Masters said,

“If you want to be given everything,

give everything up,”

they weren’t using empty phrases.

Only in being lived by the Tao

can you be truly yourself.

Two Winters in A Row

Posted on by admin

What else can you take from me?

I have nothing more to give

I only have my self

and I cannot always be held captive.

 

I want to believe in romantic love

while laying in the meadow watching the stars above

sharing a blanket thats big enough for two

like a magic carpet it will me out of the blue.

 

I know my second winter is more than enough

I’m ready for a warm breeze and to stand tall on the bluff

where I can see the trees and flowers come to bloom

and I can break free from this small enclosed room.

 

I know it will pass as it always does

and soon my cheeks will feel springs kisses

the sky will open up and the sun will shine bright

and I’ll forget about these cold hard days of twilight.

The Heart Breaker

Posted on by admin

I don’t want to be a heart breaker  

I want to find balance between giver and taker

I want to fly high, I want to fill your cup

I want to love you dearly

But surely I know I will want to break up

I don’t want to break your heart in the process

Don’t take it personally, it just me… I still want to progress

I’ll experience what you have to offer

I’ll see how I am affected by it

And as easily as I’ll fall in love

I’ll fall right back out…

Don’t take it personally that I chose a different route

I wish I knew how to be another way

And still be happy and joyful every day

This is why I need time to be alone

Spending days all on my own

Falling in love with myself and who I am

Learning about me and learning how to stand

I will reach down low and stretch way high

I’ll try to keep my feet on the floor

While I let my mind and soul fly

It has to start with me first

I will try to break my heartbreak curse

As one love once said as he sat still

“If you let me love you, I will”

Now its time for me to instill

This thought of love and acceptance

Of hope and repentance

For me first and then for you

Then in my life I can be one of two

I owe it to myself to do this now

I’ve not done it before, I’m not really sure how

So, I will do what I think is best

Cutting myself off from the rest

Until I figure out a bit more

Until I reach to the depths of my core

Where I find my own true love for my soul

Then I’ll come back out to play

With a refreshed outlook on the day

Where I can confidently believe and say

“I love my self whole-heartedly for who I am”

until this happens I will not accept another person’s heart in my hand,

first I must know about myself in order to know love and understand.

My Own Way

Posted on by admin

I always take the guilt,

I always take the blame,

and yet its me to blow out the flame.

 

I try my best up to a point

while I watch you light a joint

by this time I am already done

I’m tired of battling and you’ve just begun

then comes the time to plea and bargain

but I’m not up for sale, this isn’t an auction.

 

I give more chances than I ever should

I look past it all and try to see the good

I know you’re smart and that you’ve understood

then starts the “I could’ve, would’ve, should’ve,”

when all I want is to be free of any falsehoods.

 

I never understand when you act so hurt

after hearing and seeing all of the signs of alert

I prefer the mountains but can handle the desert

but I’m a water baby and won’t convert.

 

So let me be free

let me swim as I please

let me buzz around with the honey bees

reaping life’s bounties

smelling the field of daisies

where I wont be made fun of for driving like its sunday

as it is my mode of life to get lost and enjoy the day

so if you can be a bit carefree, please stay

and if not don’t be hurt when I go my own way.

Diving Deep

Posted on by admin

I like to swim around in the currents

on my own, without any deterrents

diving deep to see whats hidden below

then rising above to challenge what I know.

 

There’s so much life in my soul’s canyons

with layers upon layers to recount what has happened

its a tough trek, steep and dry

all by myself but I know I must try

There’s abundance and life at the bottom that’s all mine.

 

At the lowest depths where life abounds

I can jump, fly, relax and swim around

absorbing the love within me that I’ve found

hearing nature’s harmony resound

taking in the beauty that’s so profound 

its all about goodness when you go this far down.

It’s All In My Head

Posted on by admin

It’s all in my head

what I’ve seen, what I’ve read

what I’ve heard, what I’ve said

what I’ve consumed, what I’ve been fed

it will be this way until I’m dead.

“It’s all in your head”

but I know what I feel

not all that we see is real

I know there’s more to an orange than it’s peel

I’m on an adventure and I’m at the wheel

I’m not afraid to embrace what others fear

I accept what I know and hold onto it dear.

Energy versus Words

Posted on by admin

I react to energy, but am swayed by words.

While living in a foreign land I learned that I can only trust what I feel, not just go by the words that come out of the mouth. I had to learn to read energy to know whether they had good intentions or not… I didn’t learn this straightaway, but finally I learned to trust what I felt, to stand tall with my decision and to do what I had to do…  

I see the expression, I see it in it’s true form.

Like anything, when I see it, its with me

I cannot act like I’ve not seen it even if I try…

 

I try to steer clear of false identities

wolves in sheep’s clothing

and the sheep with fangs

I suggest that it all be taken off

until then – I request that you stay away

I don’t know an easier way to convey

that I only want truth and honesty.

 

I only want those around me who want the same

even in places where I see smiling faces

where words do not erase the incongruent

actions of thier body

so please step back away from me old friend

people change i understand

but for christ’s sake don’t try to force

something that isn’t there… whats the point?

 

I want to be true to me

and I want those around me to be true to them too

hopefully we can come together later

on a healthy platform to share what we’ve learned

to exchange ideas and thoughts we’ve earned…

Perspective

Posted on by admin

Life is all about your perspective… if you think you are some way… if you follow that way taking on its nuances… you will be that way. Thus, those around you will treat you that way because you are that way. Perspective… I can have and be in any way/life/path/reality I choose. Always. When you think that way you become that way…

If this is true… then always choose the best way, the one where you feel the most love… and you will in return get the most love because it is starting from within you first… and if you can start from within it will all work itself out just as it is supposed to be… you just have to embrace your true nature…

Random Notes on a New Year’s Morning

Posted on by admin

Random Notes scribed in my journal on a New Year’s Morning somewhere near Santa Cruz:

 

Be in the place where you can see the most blue skies… where you can get lost in the clouds.

Blue skies like when you are in love…

BE where you feel the most love!

IT all relates to following your bliss, do what makes you happiest and brings you love!

It’s all about the love in all things…

IT should come naturally! 

You know you are in your right place when you aren’t wearing any masks and your arms are open and you’re embracing your surrounding space…

Choose the best! The best that fits you so you can be your very best you… where you understand… know the truth, be honest!

Always strive for truth… that IS the truth! 

Wind blows, clouds swirl, sun casts rainbows, twists and turns, rolls and expands, dissipates and moves along. 

“treading uphill in a slippery bag trying to find my shoes” 

I love the warm winter sun on my cheek.

I’ve missed the great and expansive Pacific Ocean… I love California and it’s majestic and diverse coast… 

I am blessed and thoroughly grateful to be here.