The Trance

You see

its all new to me

as novice as i can be

naive to an extreme

i don’t know what it means

i don’t know anything

i can tell how i feel

i’m even compelled to sing

thinking of you

the energy transfers

pulsates and envelops my being

words just come out

motion just happens

the flow is so incredible

but extremely foreign

it makes me nervous

when i’m out of the trance

when i come back to earth

after being higher than…

well, there’s nothing to really compare

shew

exhale

i’m ready to try again

i’m ready to fly again

The Universe is Opening Up…

“Swinging from stars, too near and too far, watching them shine, doing my time, making them mine then I leave them behind…” lyrics like these from Tea Leaf Green, kept flowing through my head while I was sitting lotus pose trying to focus on my sensations. I felt like this was some kind of sign and when on the short break in between courses I found that they were playing in San Francisco for Earth Day. I didn’t know how I could afford such an adventure, but thought about a series of ways that might work out to get a ticket. Along with the idea that I would just head up to San Francisco after the last of my meditation courses and figure it out when I got there. There was a whole lot of planning and a variety of what ifs but nothing real, just all in my forecasting imagination.

A curly dark haired woman with stars around her eyes started up a conversation with me after we broke silence on the last day of the course. With her thick New York accent she told me she was heading to Sedona, Arizona. Within a few minutes we made plans for me to come out there with her. This came about effortlessly which was interesting as I had attempted a few times since returning to the states with that same forecasting of my imagination of ways to head back to the state where I had lived in prior to Brazil. None of those what if plans worked out because it wasn’t the right time. So, all of a sudden, there I was and there she was with this opportunity.

The next morning we drove from North Fork, California to Sedona, Arizona in an all day drive. We totally connected and I ended up staying with her for close to a week. Through me being out there meeting up with different old friends I brought new people into her life. In that process she was able to connect with a dear friend of mine who knows about Native American healing, something I had been interested in as well as what she had been looking for. Along with that, due to some other plans “falling through” or shifting one day, I wandered out with another old friend and found a flier for a Sedona Method workshop that would be held a few hours later. I had never heard of it, however, when we went to it they gave us a whole package of material, all for free. The whole idea behind it flows right from what I had just been practicing in meditation focusing on the unconscious mind. It was like I had just gone through meditation to arrive at that point and was prepared to learn what was being offered. I wouldn’t have been so open to it if I hadn’t done what I had just done, but since I did, I found myself in that position.

Sedona is a special place with natural vortices’s amongst its stunning red rocks and natural art. It draws a a wide variety of spiritual followers from all walks of life who venture out on their path of self awareness. There are free workshops and seminars available for everything! I stopped in at a writers workshop one evening being held at the “Best Bookstore in Sedona.” I was amongst local writers, mainly an older crowd, where the activity of the evening was to write whatever we choose about four words that the person next to us wrote not realizing that they weren’t going to be the ones writing about those words! I wrote a poem fitting to Sedona, shared it and received constructive criticism in such a loving way. It felt great! Since I went to the writers workshop I found out about an anniversary bash being held the next afternoon in the bookstore with live music and cake! Of course, I had to go! Listening to a passionate harmonica player in a good local band while flipping through a variety of books was such a great experience! Interestingly enough, I saw the owners of that bookstore this morning in Flagstaff as I was casually walking through downtown, synchronicity.

A few days ago I made it up to Flagstaff in time to meet up with an old friend to catch the last live music showing at The Orpheum Theater downtown featuring Delta Nove. Brazil has been apparent in my life as well, not only was the band known to have a Brazilian flare, but there there was even a traveling drum circle playing a great Brazilian beat! My old friend and I watched our streetlamp shadows move against the brick walls, skipped down the alleyway and had a blast dancing all night long!

Yesterday I caught up with another old friend who also lives here in Flagstaff who just so happens to have time. I threw out the idea of a cross country road trip and she was in! We don’t have any specific plans, but decided that to wing it and to just start out heading east on highway 40 leaving Flagstaff. The goal is to make it to North Carolina and experience what America has to offer along the way. No specific time frame, so who knows what will happen!

Out of curiosity and hope, I looked up Tea Leaf Green’s website, www.tealeafgreen.com, to see if they might be playing somewhere along the route… and lo and behold… this weekend, they are playing in Oklahoma! Not only is Oklahoma on our route, but the show is for free! I can hardly believe how easily it is  happening, without any extra effort, without any excessive planning, things are just falling into place, exactly as they are supposed to.

The thing is that it always does work itself out if we let it. If we let go of what we think things should be, of how we think things should go and just let them be. When we stop planning things in concrete ways and stay open, good things are bound to come. The universe really does open itself up if you let it and trust that it will work out. We’ll see where this adventure takes us! I am excited!

Winter in Yosemite

Reflections play a trick on me

It’s hard to tell what I see

Rocks seen clearly from the waters edge

Glacier Point with its white highlighted ledge

Snow-covered logs and tall pine trees

Clouds changing with the breeze

Swirled ice sheets drifting with ease

 

Tiny flakes tickle my nose

Bringing a calm to my heart as the Merced River flows

This is a peace that only Yosemite knows

In the quiet winter days listening to nature’s echoes

 

Absolutely perfect in every single way

Lucky me to spend time frolicking on such a day

Creating a new memory that is sure to stay

Of unsurpassed beauty, perfection and carefree play! 

Thought on Being Legally Bound…

Is there any thing really wrong about being selfish, developing one’s self first and making that a focal point and continuing to do so as time progresses? How much does one really need to compromise in a relationship? Is a companion all that we can ever really seek in life?

Is there really just one person who will fulfill that gap when you need it? Is that even possible? Can we just get what we need from other people when we need it? Take only what we need and give, if we can, what they are in need of in return? Or further, just give what we need to give, what we can give…

A continuing thought… most likely spurred because I myself have found that I am legally bound, granted in another country, however, still legally bound and in the midst of breaking free from something I shouldn’t have really entered in the first place…where I allowed legal hoops and repercussions to scare me into thinking that I needed to be married to someone whom I did love and was in a relationship with in the said foreign country… masking it with the thought and optimism of love while knowing that if the legal ramifications and country laws were not as they were I wouldn’t have entered…  

Returning to the thought… with divorce in the US being 1 in every 2 marriages ending, doesn’t that mean that we are not as tied into religion as we were? Specifically California having the highest rate of divorce… doesn’t that reflect the lax religious views here? Doesn’t that also lead to the idea that we are more inclined to do what makes us happiest, even if that entails divorce, ending the religious institution of marriage that society tells us we should enter.

Further with divorce, how is it that we are supposed to feel so guilty about it? It is just a religious institution, and if I am not a strict follower of religion and my life is not ruled by religion, should I feel guilty? Should I feel guilty if I no longer feel the way I once did? Should I feel guilty that I have grown into a different person? I don’t think that guilt does me any good at all… why should I take it on when I am not obligated?

It is only my life to live. Shouldn’t I do what makes me happiest in this world? My world is only what I make it and if the person who I am next to doesn’t fit into what I believe I need next to me, is it wrong to be selfish and change the environment? We are all individual anyway… who is to say that the other person will ever be so much like you that you truly can grow old with only them? If I feel like I am on my own path to do the right thing and I realize that includes freeing myself from the bonds of those kinds of relationships, then shouldn’t I do it? Won’t it, in the long run, make the world a better place because I am doing what makes me happiest, what I feel is the best thing I can do for myself to help create this environment of happiness?

Why is it that our society forces us to be legally bound in order to have rights like health care? Health care should be a given right for any citizen living in the world’s most powerful and influential nation. So if you have to get married to have health care, that means that religion and capitalism are tied since health care seems to be totally revolving around money now? Is that a fair assumption?

I can definitely say that I will be more cautious when entering any kind of contract in the future, but in our society doesn’t it almost seem like it is inevitable in order to have rights? Is this where the gay/lesbian rights come in… how unfair that society makes us do this anyway for heterosexual couples, let alone homosexual ones, it is almost like a double blow… isn’t it? Or is it just the same… people who have a different outlook and who just want to love and have rights while living within their own bubble in our current society?

Perspective

Life is all about your perspective… if you think you are some way… if you follow that way taking on its nuances… you will be that way. Thus, those around you will treat you that way because you are that way. Perspective… I can have and be in any way/life/path/reality I choose. Always. When you think that way you become that way

If this is true… then always choose the best way, the one where you feel the most love… and you will in return get the most love because it is starting from within you first… and if you can start from within it will all work itself out just as it is supposed to be… you just have to embrace your true nature…

Not to Worry

I said to him “Daddy…”

“I’m not worried about money…”

it will come – its a great resource

and I know I’ll be well off in life.

So if I just focus on what I like,

what I’m passionate about – which I am now,

well in our society

we compensate monetarily

and I will be compensated well

but my soul is not for sale.

I can’t be concerned with things

when I know the truth lies in the feelings.

I thanked him for giving me love as best he could

and told him that I’m trying to focus on the good.

He said I have such a solid head on my shoulders

like someone much wiser and certainly older.

I reminded him that I am just twenty-eight

I’ve got a long road ahead to anticipate

lots of good fortune and love will surely come my way,

as long as I’m good to myself every single day.

Positive Influences

Gratitude is what I feel

this reality is totally real.

positive influences keep entering my life

like vitamins prescribed by the wise midwife. 

Totally unexpected and I’m always in surprise

when they shed their outer layer of disguise

feeling so comfortable that they open up

sharing their milk like a mother with a newborn pup.

It’s all coming back as I’m following my bliss

while sharing big hugs and the new cheeks to kiss

I’m getting emotional deposits from all sides

like the moon’s light changing the tide

I’m all in – I know this is what its all about

the rain is bringing prosperity after the drought.

Love and Getting Lost

I am in a stage in life that I am totally in love with. Not that I am not typically in love, that is just how I am, but especially right now. I am just a lover in general and I… Love, yes… love that about who I am. It is much better, in my opinion, to be in love… and I am letting that feeling take me away. Love is the best natural high there is… It brings you to search out the truth in things, it inspires you to appreciate the environment that surrounds you, it helps you to come to revelations through self love and exploration, growth, development and transformation… 

I love to get lost in my thoughts… I love to get totally into it. I love to dance, I was dancing around by myself this morning for a good hour… ah… I just get lost in it… It may not always make sense, but I think that is just how it goes. You have to lose yourself! In order to find whatever you are looking for you have to get lost… Now that may seem way out there, but that is when you find the best things in life… always. When you are out there doing something that you haven’t done before… creating new memories, creating new thoughts, going for it… enveloping yourself in what you are doing right then… letting the passion override all other things… when you do allow this to happen, great things are bound to come… I believe this wholeheartedly… 

Love creates a better world… Love makes everything better.