Return to the Desert

back in the desert

only for a moment

long enough to understand

theres more for my life

than just this

cracked and drying

taking all i have

without even trying

im a water baby

i can survive for a while

but it shouldn’t be just about survival

wheres the fun in that?

where the life in abundance?

wheres the joy to be had?

back in the desert

a voluntary move

one to cleanse and ground

the restless bird in my soul

just for a moment

yes indeed

just for a moment

surely all the time i will need

Enchanting North Caroline

digging my feet in the moist mountain dirt

while climbing from the river

up to the grove hand over hand on a rope

approaching three large mushrooms

an ants view looking up their skirt

like alice in wonderland

or some fairytale told to children

but it does exist…

a real live fern gully

of magical nature escapes

all found in a different reality

in the temperate rain forest

in the great smokies

of beautiful and enchanting

western north caroline

feminine and free

with easy careless days

and peaceful nights fireside

where everything seems to bloom

quickly, vibrant and withers

a dancing and constantly evolving landscape

where large cranes still perch

and at dusk play the fireflies

Creating Moments and Sharing Life

Creating moments and sharing life. That is what its about to me lately. Sharing in all ways that one can. Sharing the happiness that is created. Sharing the love. Creating memories to store in one’s heart and mind’s eye for another time. To build upon each day making each one better than the last, but not comparing them.

I know I am a social being, this is absolutely no doubt and I have been thoroughly blessed to have had a very full life thus far sharing happiness while living the human experience!

The Universe is Opening Up…

“Swinging from stars, too near and too far, watching them shine, doing my time, making them mine then I leave them behind…” lyrics like these from Tea Leaf Green, kept flowing through my head while I was sitting lotus pose trying to focus on my sensations. I felt like this was some kind of sign and when on the short break in between courses I found that they were playing in San Francisco for Earth Day. I didn’t know how I could afford such an adventure, but thought about a series of ways that might work out to get a ticket. Along with the idea that I would just head up to San Francisco after the last of my meditation courses and figure it out when I got there. There was a whole lot of planning and a variety of what ifs but nothing real, just all in my forecasting imagination.

A curly dark haired woman with stars around her eyes started up a conversation with me after we broke silence on the last day of the course. With her thick New York accent she told me she was heading to Sedona, Arizona. Within a few minutes we made plans for me to come out there with her. This came about effortlessly which was interesting as I had attempted a few times since returning to the states with that same forecasting of my imagination of ways to head back to the state where I had lived in prior to Brazil. None of those what if plans worked out because it wasn’t the right time. So, all of a sudden, there I was and there she was with this opportunity.

The next morning we drove from North Fork, California to Sedona, Arizona in an all day drive. We totally connected and I ended up staying with her for close to a week. Through me being out there meeting up with different old friends I brought new people into her life. In that process she was able to connect with a dear friend of mine who knows about Native American healing, something I had been interested in as well as what she had been looking for. Along with that, due to some other plans “falling through” or shifting one day, I wandered out with another old friend and found a flier for a Sedona Method workshop that would be held a few hours later. I had never heard of it, however, when we went to it they gave us a whole package of material, all for free. The whole idea behind it flows right from what I had just been practicing in meditation focusing on the unconscious mind. It was like I had just gone through meditation to arrive at that point and was prepared to learn what was being offered. I wouldn’t have been so open to it if I hadn’t done what I had just done, but since I did, I found myself in that position.

Sedona is a special place with natural vortices’s amongst its stunning red rocks and natural art. It draws a a wide variety of spiritual followers from all walks of life who venture out on their path of self awareness. There are free workshops and seminars available for everything! I stopped in at a writers workshop one evening being held at the “Best Bookstore in Sedona.” I was amongst local writers, mainly an older crowd, where the activity of the evening was to write whatever we choose about four words that the person next to us wrote not realizing that they weren’t going to be the ones writing about those words! I wrote a poem fitting to Sedona, shared it and received constructive criticism in such a loving way. It felt great! Since I went to the writers workshop I found out about an anniversary bash being held the next afternoon in the bookstore with live music and cake! Of course, I had to go! Listening to a passionate harmonica player in a good local band while flipping through a variety of books was such a great experience! Interestingly enough, I saw the owners of that bookstore this morning in Flagstaff as I was casually walking through downtown, synchronicity.

A few days ago I made it up to Flagstaff in time to meet up with an old friend to catch the last live music showing at The Orpheum Theater downtown featuring Delta Nove. Brazil has been apparent in my life as well, not only was the band known to have a Brazilian flare, but there there was even a traveling drum circle playing a great Brazilian beat! My old friend and I watched our streetlamp shadows move against the brick walls, skipped down the alleyway and had a blast dancing all night long!

Yesterday I caught up with another old friend who also lives here in Flagstaff who just so happens to have time. I threw out the idea of a cross country road trip and she was in! We don’t have any specific plans, but decided that to wing it and to just start out heading east on highway 40 leaving Flagstaff. The goal is to make it to North Carolina and experience what America has to offer along the way. No specific time frame, so who knows what will happen!

Out of curiosity and hope, I looked up Tea Leaf Green’s website, www.tealeafgreen.com, to see if they might be playing somewhere along the route… and lo and behold… this weekend, they are playing in Oklahoma! Not only is Oklahoma on our route, but the show is for free! I can hardly believe how easily it is  happening, without any extra effort, without any excessive planning, things are just falling into place, exactly as they are supposed to.

The thing is that it always does work itself out if we let it. If we let go of what we think things should be, of how we think things should go and just let them be. When we stop planning things in concrete ways and stay open, good things are bound to come. The universe really does open itself up if you let it and trust that it will work out. We’ll see where this adventure takes us! I am excited!

Saturn Returns… I turn 29 on March 20th

My life has been in quite a transitional phase since I returned from Brazil. I have been trying to find the place where I feel the best, where I see the “most blue skies” if you will all the while trying to stay true to who I am now, not who I was. It is difficult to do so, when you look similar, you are back in the place where you have spent a lot of time, around old friends, but inside I have changed a lot… I have lived a life that words fail to describe accurately… even so the words I use to describe are relative to my experience, just as they are for everyone… its really all relative from my perspective…
I’ve been back in Yosemite staying with a dear friend who made it a point to pick me up from the airport when I landed back in the states, who has given me a place to stay and has shown me love and care in a way that I thought didn’t really exist in the world anymore. I feel very fortunate and lucky that I have had such a welcome and such a safe place to regroup.
In the past month I have been in a meditation training course in North Fork, California, one that is changing my life… taking what I had learned on the intellectual level to the experiential level and it is blowing me away. Learning that I am the Master of the Mind and I really do create everything in my world. Learning that everything arises and passes away and I cannot be attached to something that is so temporary as it is impersonal and constantly changing. I am actually returning in a few hours back to the Meditation Center to keep learning until I feel like I have this down, I will stay there, it is that important to me right now.
The topic of what sign are you seems to have come up a bit as of late and when I share that I am a Pisces that my birthday is on March 20th and that I am turning 29 the common response has been… ah… Saturn Returns… which I had never really heard of before, so I’ve had people explain it to me and it seems to totally make sense… Apparently, when one is born the planet Saturn is in line somewhere out there in the universe corresponding with your birth date and year. It takes give or take 27-30 years for Saturn to make its cycle back to the same place it was when one was born… and it becomes a time for rebirth… but at an adult stage, where one really finds where they are supposed to be… It becomes a time to rediscover what is important and rearrange life to fit this new self image…
So just as a quick recap… I fell in love and quit my job after 9 years when I was 27 and moved to Brazil… at 28 I realized that I wasn’t the person I was when I left to Brazil… then returned to the states at the end of last year… have been living mainly back in Yosemite where I lived and worked for five years feeling totally in between as I am very different from who I was when I was here last… now I am approaching 29, back in California where I am from, learning about my bodily sensations and will be meditating in North Fork (the exact center of California) on my birthday learning all about me… seems so appropriate…
I find it to be an interesting coincidence, or not, that most divorces happen amongst people who are 28-30 years old… just at the time that Saturn is returning…
If you are interested in learning more about this meditation training course, they call it a retreat, but it is not a relaxing kind of thing at all… check it out… dhamma.org its incredible… taking it from the intellectual level to the experiential level…
Wishing everyone health, love, happiness, peace and liberation!
jennifer.

Planting New Seeds

In this meditation course it is brought up that if you continue to plant the same seeds you will reap the same fruit. I am learning to plant new seeds and hopefully in time my efforts will yield different fruit… the fruit from before was good, it was exactly what I needed at the time and I am thankful for the fruit that I have reaped over the years. That fruit continues to be good in my life and I continue to eat it. However, as time has passed I have grown, evolved and changed and am in need of new fruit to help me move forward on my path. I have started planting as of late… and am hopeful that my time has not been used in vain… I don’t think it has… only time will tell…

one cannot plant the same seeds and expect different fruit…

Fast and Tao 22

In the past few months I have been reading a passage from Tao te Ching every night. I have read them all and now randomly flip to a page. This one came last night and I thought it was fitting. Although I am trying to refrain from certain input that comes from technology during my fast, but I thought I would share this as an output…

Tao 22

If you want to become whole,

let yourself be partial.

If you want to become straight,

let yourself be crooked.

If you want to become full,

let yourself be empty.

If you want to be reborn,

let yourself die.

If you want to be given everything,

give everything up.

 

The Master, by residing in the Tao,

sets an example for all beings.

Because he doesn’t display himself,

people can see his light. 

Because he has nothing to prove,

people can trust his words.

Because he doesn’t know who he is,

people recognize themselves in him.

Because he hsa no goal in mind,

everything he does succeeds.

 

When the ancient Masters said,

“If you want to be given everything,

give everything up,”

they weren’t using empty phrases.

Only in being lived by the Tao

can you be truly yourself.