The Hero’s Journey

Joseph Campbell has inspired me and the changes I’ve made in my life. So much so that back in 2007 or so when I first heard the idea of “Follow Your Bliss” that I held onto it as tight as I possibly could and made motions in every moment to do so, which in turn totally transformed my world. I was living in Brazil at that stage and so far from where I really needed to be and it was obvious. By choosing what felt the best at any given time, I slowly but surely created lasting change in my life. Thank Goodness!

Fast forward to 2010 and I was in a major car accident. I had just moved to Australia and was stopped in my tracks, a divine intervention really. Having nothing but time and space to heal, heal is what I did. I took the time to finally really dive into my own subconscious, learn about who I was, what I was doing, where I was going. I trained myself how to lucid dream, I kept a regular dream journal and analysed my dreams. I drew, painted, wrote, and expressed myself however I could within the healing space I was in. You see I wasn’t overly mobile at that time, so I had to work with what I had! I was living in a bus on an organic banana farm in the lovely village of Whian Whian in the Northern Rivers of New South Wales. The time there was right out of a storybook. Including a horse named Spirit whom I’d try to be friend while going to the nature loo, the outdoor compostable toilet which had a stunning view of The Channon area with it’s rolling hills and lushness.

Realising that I was far away from my doctors and community, I moved into the town of Lismore, after a  few months of living in Lennox Head with it’s healing Tea Tree water infused Lake Ainsworth. Lismore was fantastic. It is a creative hotbed and every walk of life can be seen there. Here I lived in a vegetarian meditation house on top of Girard’s Hill overlooking the whole town. There were koalas in the nearby lookout and it was what I needed in my next stage of healing.

In Lismore, I really dove into the Hero’s Journey. I had written it in the story arc with each stage and pasted it upon my wall. I studied it regularly. I would watch a film and dissect it based on the story steps. I noted that there always had to be a struggle that felt like against all odds it wouldn’t happen, and then a guide in some guise would appear, the struggle would have a climax and the Hero would triumphantly overcome the initial issue before returning better than ever to their regular life. I love how the story unfolded that way and I have always been keen to support the underdog.

I’m at a stage now where I am not sure if I embody the Hero’s Journey naturally and that is why I had to study it, or if I have studied it so much that my life now mirrors that. I understand the power of the thought and how it can influence and inform life in every aspect. I may naturally be the Hero, full on. With the amount of adversity and resiliency of overcoming the obstacles in my life, I sure feel like I am the Hero. Perhaps I just understand the process better and can identify it. Either way there is no coincidence that it came into my life in such a major way and that it still stays with me so strongly.

However, at this point, I’m ready to just have the easier way now. I’m ready for the smooth and easy sailing part which doesn’t have bam, bam, bam excitement left and right. Not that I’m asking for some dull ride through life, not at all. It’s just that I’m about to bring a child into this world, into my existence, and I want to just enjoy it rather than feel like I’m always overcoming some battle. This year alone has been a constant battle with major positive highlights too, like getting married; going on our lovely honeymoon at the Great Barrier Reef; conceiving a child. It’s certainly been clear that I’ve had a lot of challenges too, like setting and enforcing boundaries with joint venture partners; dealing with immigration issues between two different countries and still not having resolution; feeling every bit of joy, happiness, pain, and discomfort that comes with being pregnant in my mid-thirties, all the while creating a unique business that will solely be online to help women.

I love and admire the Hero’s Journey and I will always have my own personal stories to reflect upon. I am just ready for that feeling of “Ease” to take over, at least for a while.

Eel Totem and “Great Change”

Three weeks ago I graduated from University. Since then I have gone through a series of different emotions, running fast, then slowing right now, and even sprained my ankle! It’s an interesting space to be in where there are expectations of what a new graduate does, as in gets a typical job works and makes a little money. However, I haven’t wanted to return to something or a way of life that I have previously experienced, so I have been feeling the pull towards that familiar route and simultaneously a strong push away from it. It’s not that I don’t want to spend my time making valuable contributions to the world using my new knowledge and positively impact the world. I do! It’s just that old way of working does not appeal to me. Trading my life for someone else’s goals and ideas when I may just happen to find them on a job board is not appealing to me.

Offers have been coming my way that are not traditional as well, which I am very thankful for. None have fully resonated with me though. It’s not like they aren’t totally suited to me, because they are, it’s just that I don’t feel passionate about them. They happen to be jobs that are in line with my interests and the way I operate in the world, but for some reason that voice inside of me isn’t saying “GO GO GO”! Instead what’s happening is that I spend a heap of time deliberating if it’s a good idea, and it usually is, and if the pay will be enough for me and for the most part it has been, but there’s something vital missing. In all of these offers I’m still pushing someone else’s agenda which still does positively affect the world, but I don’t feel energised by the thought of actually doing the work to do it.

Obviously I am curious about myself as I witness this space of transformation. When I truly think about what does appeal to me, it is the ability to be my best self, make a difference in the world, make and complete highly ambitious goals and live a high end lifestyle. This is what I want and I am researching and learning about how others have done it and are doing it to gain some insight and inspiration. What I want is to combine all of my awesome into one package and deliver it in a relatable way to others. What I want is to inspire change in others like I have been inspired over the years and help people live in their best version of themselves. I want this for others because I want this for myself. I want to be happy and generous and kind and appreciative, and I also want to inspire others to also find their key qualities.

I truly believe that I can change the world but I know it will take collaboration and trust. I choose to live a meaningful life where I feel great about what I do every day, where I look my best, and I present my very best version of me.

Of course as I’m coming to all of this, the outside world reflects something so interesting and shows up as a guidepost on my path. Where I live there is a duckpond, it’s lovely. There are brown ducks, black ducks, a couple of white ducks and I took down some toasted bread for them this evening. Well, as I stood there passing out toasted treats to the ducks, I noticed an eel! Not just one but two eels! I’ve visited the pond countless times, not once have I ever seen this! I watched them and saw that the ducks left them alone and the eels left the ducks alone, they just both lived together. Every once in a while a duck would mistake the eel for food and give it a nibble but the eel just went along on it’s way.

As soon as I got home I looked up what an eel totem represented and lo and behold it all about awakening the kundalini energy of the serpent and “Great Transformation”! That the eel watches and takes in all the information and at the opportune time moves forward with ease. I know I am going through a major change and to have this reflected in the outer world still amazes me. Perhaps I needed to be reminded of the divinity in nature and in the world so that I can further honour it and allow myself to fully be present and accept that I will get everything I want as soon as I want it enough to just be it.

 

Not Personal?

How hard it is to “not take things personally”

when in a relationship wiht another

even further when that relationship dissolves

the feeling of rejection by the one whom you love with such intensity

sends a spear directly through the heart

would the pain really stop if the two lovers were reunited?

or would the reasons for the separation only arise again?

Fern Spring

broke-down

at the spring

the source

the fountain of youth….

but its dark

hard to see

whats around?

lanterns are needed…

ambassadors of light please hold space

he asks “is it safe”

I smilingly reply…

“oh yes, of course it is!”

“don’t be afraid…”

enjoy where you are,

you’ve made it this far!”

“Welcome!”

“Placated People Who Play By the Rules”

thoughts of a lover swirl in my head

a migration of energy

uniting in a time and place

where my soul was nourished and fed

just for a moment

a savory introduction

attachments, attachments whatever do they mean?

the stated mores of this reality…

a brilliant connection that can never be seen

dancing around in my head like a dream…

the smells of the flowers

the gentle loving touch of a hand

being led through the thicket

by a soul in the form of a beautiful man

a sharing that was pure

not one of “placated people who play by the rules”

i had to get away

so perhaps i am one of those fools

the memory stays with me

as it always will with you…

Back in the Valley 2

my shoulders tighten
my back aches
my nose becomes congested
in the thick air of conservatism
of sheltered rural life
i can and do play the part
but its not my natural truth
i’m close…
i respectfully walk
i slowly speak…
painting the view of another way
i’ve left this place
smelt other lands
felt air abroad
hugged and kissed the spectrum
danced under foreign skies
laughed out loud, until i cried
but we’re all the same
so if i feel this they do too…
if they feel this i do too..
in some way
in some fashion
waiting to be set free
wanting to fly

In hope for more

so here i am
where i thought i would be
but not how i want it to be
not feeling quite like my best me
sure i can make it work
sure i can morph and transform
compromise
not really my thing these days
not at all
so change is in the air again
oh yes again indeed
there is always a reason for the wind
surely enough the breeze is picking up speed
its not due to lack of opportunity for money
for making a life in the wine country
but its just not me
perhaps it was before
but i’ll never know
lifetimes away from now

i am blessed with incredible gifts
of seeing things as they are
with the ability to follow my bliss
to redefine and forecast
in ways beyond my comprehension
manifestations of dreams
all of them from my past
the same one that led me here
but i am no longer that
so now i guess its time to dream again
to make smaller steps
to build the foundation
to continue my climb
my growth
all or none or so it seems
take it or leave it
these incredible dreams
but for now…
for now…
for now…
just looking for simple happiness
simple truths
simplicity
yet yearning for a bit of a steady home
which i can make happens when i choose
but the wind keeps on blowing
my mind keeps expanding
and my heart… oh my heart… it keeps me moving

i am a feeler with incredible intuition
aware in so many ways
yet a novice to it all
not knowing how to really harness it
so move i must
thats all i seem to know right now
move until i feel it
hopefully someday that feeling will sustain

to leave one reality for another in hopes of something better…

A Ship Called Boxcar

On a ship called “Boxcar”, we did sail

from the southern tip of the US

into the deep teal blue ocean

hosted by situational pirates drinking whiskey and ale

harmless and generous folks sporting dreads

in need of love and a bit hesitant

I opened myself up and eventually they did too

as we snorkeled in tandem

observing the underwater world

of swaying plant life,

fish long yellow and black

as well as low swimming huge colored an electric blue

a squall came our way

an opaque veil of rain had covered the view

they all hit the deck – seeking cover

but I kept my place

wanting to feel the intensity 

I sat it out

a peace came over me

as the sailboat was tossed around

as the rain pounded down

it was confirmed in that moment

that all things do pass…

and if I could make it through this

I could weather anything coming my way,

as I journey down my path

following my internal compass –

the squall moved on, the sun shone bright

my eyes forever changed

I’ve gained new sight

that will continue to lead me

towards the light.

On the Road Again

In a few short hours

I’ll be on the road again

waving a fond farewell to the desert

while heading back to the state

where it all began.

this time in a different way

I’ve learned about life and love

following my intuition

and making the most of every day.

there is so much out there

in this expansive world of ours

a variety of different lives to live

an abundance of options

a plethora of fragrant flowers

so many things to waste away the hours.

Tomorrow I’m heading on the road again

who knows what the future holds

but I am sure as time progresses

and I keep trekking down my path

that life will continue to open up

love will be found all around

and once again I will overfill my cup.

At least I will know

If there is one thing that is for sure

at least I will know

whenever the time comes

whenever I go

that I’ve tried out some options

some different realities

of life here and there

there won’t be regret

nor any confusion

as I’ll have experienced my life

adding to my personal season.

looking out to the grey desert clouds today

after climbing through a rhododendron thicket yesterday

i am reminded that everything is what i make it

every bit of this life is here because its what i choose.

if i stay long enough i’ll know how my soul feels

how it longs or linger or what it finds real

i guess i’ll keep moving

along till i find

the place where i feel the best

where the sun shines bright.

the thing is that the light shines here

and it also shines there

some places a little more

some places a tad bit clear.

the smell of the dry pinion pine

traded for the honeysuckle of north caroline

of course there’s a happy medium in which i will find

i wonder if its the place i started

the one that transcends time

that stays with me wherever i go

that holds steadfast flying high like the crow?

rhyming my way through the roots of my mind

the leaves of my being

and the branches of time

it sure helps me at least i believe

that at least I will know

what life is like because i’ve tried

because i’ve thought about it

because i’ve made my life mine…