poem

Showers

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Time seems to slip with the water rolling down my body

Memories come up and wash away

If I close my eyes, I could be at any age, right now

If I close my eyes, I feel fear.

I stand with my body facing the door, always

Nothing has ever happened in the shower to me

Yet, I feel terribly vulnerable

Naked, Wet, Not being able to hear well over the water

I can only ever relax if I know someone I trust is at home

Short showers generally

Quick, and sometimes ice cold

I’m not in there for pleasure

it’s about purpose

 

Isolation

Enclosed in Glass

Emotions everywhere

Dare I dive in?

 

Incredibly Full

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Full

Full of the son

Full of the light

If I were a cup I’d be at the brim

yet

I’m only at 26 weeks.

How much more can I inflate?

stretch?

I see him moving

regularly

protruding in my belly

cliffs are formed

waves are created

and then silence.

Incredibly Full

my body is

a house for another

for a new soul

for the emerging sun.

Incredibly full

until my cup

my body

filleth over.

14 more weeks

of feeling

of learning what I can take

of gestating this being

of using my body fully.

Amazing Women

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Consistently in awe

of the amazing women

whom I happen to know

whom I share this journey

in some way,

around the globe.

They are fearless

vulnerable

real

progressive

inherently gorgeous beings.

These women consistently inspire

me, others, everyone…

their butterfly effect is massive

their ripples of truth create tides.

I believe that we are all reflections

so if I can see that they are this

and hold that space for them

because I want to, because I’m compelled

my space is also held

my light is also shown back to me

and we all grow and evolve.

It’s all SO beautiful.

 

One Big Dream

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Life is like one big dream

with symbols to help you understand what it means

a bit fuzzy and always funny

like a bubble blanket under water

cuddling up like an innocent daughter

my boat is my body

my vessel for this journey

my mind is the captain

the water and the fish swimming

life is like one big dream

floating and swimming in the stream

going with the flow or finding

another way – like salmon who 

forces her against the stream to spawn in May.

Allowing Love

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Embracing my own self love

releasing others from the unattainable task

creating my own happiness

allowing love in – as it is – right now

without falling back on old patterns

nor projecting the future outcome of this, of now

simply enjoying the now- the moment – what is

enveloping my self, my soul in the goodness and grandeur of love

not making demands

letting go of expectations

allowing me to feel without wanting to own my interest

he will come and go

he always will so it seems

but I – I am here – the one with me always

I cannot stall nor stop energy

so i allow the flow to truly run through me

like a river encompassing, enveloping my everything

from my heart to my soul from well above my head to deep into the ground

allowing love with a resting smile upon my face.A

Red Rubies

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Drawn in by red-

a sudden need to have it in my life again

red hair

red bag

red ruby jewelry

power and connection to my source

utilizing the energy to revitalize and reenergize my soul

like a bull in the coliseum it fills me with fire

I feel the noble wisdom emanating from my heart

like a guardian angel helping me to change

holding my hand protecting me as I transform and shift frames

it lifts me up – encourages me

and reminds me to “Follow My Bliss”

the red, the rubies hekp me to see in the dark

showing a clearer path absent of resistance

i was an am a love being and I remmeber this truth.

I choose my life with eyes of love

and strength from the Divine to chart and venture onto my path

I am precious, rare and beautiful.

I love life and it loves me tremendously.

Spiritual wisdom, Knowledge, Health, Wealth, Bliss, Transition, Change, Choices

Kaleidoscope

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Looking through the kaleidoscope of life

from my heart through my eye

I see brilliant colors, the earth and the sky.

I’ve gazed at these shapes for years upon yars

but until recently when I’ve learned how to die

to let go of what I’ve always known

shifting my lenses into the great unknown

and seeing yet again through my kaleidoscope

brilliant colors, the earth, the sky and love

love painting and casting its light upon my world

tis the same instrument I’ve always looked through

only now I see the importance of the changing view

transforming my world and the way I see it

while remaining the same perceiver

as I’ve been… evolving, morphing, transforming

my body, my mind, my spirit and my soul

so torquing my kaleidoscope became natural.

Rebroken

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This is so hard for me

my tender heart is rebroken when we meet

its like a rejection again and again

when i’m around you I want to be back in

the warm and generous nature I know you have

along with your admiration and basking due to my love

you allow it – but each time I’m left so sad.

I try to be cool – most times I think I pull it off

or so I think –

I purposely put a barrier around me for protection

so I won’t continue to get hurt

I try, I try, I try

but its so hard with my broken heart

Not Personal?

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How hard it is to “not take things personally”

when in a relationship wiht another

even further when that relationship dissolves

the feeling of rejection by the one whom you love with such intensity

sends a spear directly through the heart

would the pain really stop if the two lovers were reunited?

or would the reasons for the separation only arise again?