Open to Money

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It’s interesting to think about the relationship between money and my self. I grew up without having much around and had to rely on the government for basic living expenses via my parents. I didn’t really learn how to handle money or anything about money really other than that you need it to buy groceries and food and to put gas into the car. As I’ve grown in age, I’ve also grown with experiences with money. We have had an on again off again relationship, rocky at times, super high and incredible at others, and now it’s steadily a third party relationship. All of my needs are met, but I don’t earn any money specifically on my own. I have a job that is generally very undervalued in society because it doesn’t bring in money, but it absolutely essential to the growth of said society, as I have chosen to stay with my baby as his primary caretaker while my husband is the sole monetary provider. Right now in our lives, this works and we make it.

Lately though, I have been thinking about how I envision that I will have 50 million dollars by the time I am 45, within the next 9 years. I think that’s a big amount, but on the other hand, it’s not that big at all in comparison to a lot of wealth out there. For me, from this moment right now, it feels like a lot. I think about how money buys opportunity, and how when I have a lot of money I will be generous and put my money where my mouth is and make a positive contribution with it. I actually don’t envision my life itself being all that different, strangely. I imagine that we’ll live in a nicer house in a nicer neighbourhood, or in the country side. I imagine that we’ll probably have a regular housekeeper like we have had in the past in moments. I imagine that we’ll probably eat well, as in healthy fresh foods, regularly. I imagine that I’ll take classes and expand my education, that we will travel, and life will be similar but a little different than it is right now. The thing is that I am still the same person, with a lot of money, or not. I am still me, my values will not change. I will still strive to develop myself as I do. I will still create art, I will keep writing, I will continue living my life in a full expression like I am now. Sure there will be some changes, but fundamentally I will be the same.

I welcome it into my life now. I wouldn’t have known how to handle it earlier in my life, and now I am ready. I am totally open to living the experience of having more opportunities, and being a donor of money to many causes, and philanthropies. I look forward to seeing the world and soaking up culture via more travel. I look forward to living my full expression including with the luxury style experiences I’ve had in bits and moments, as my regular life. I am ready. I am ready to do this with my husband and our child, from today on. I am ready and that feels incredible.

Body Issues

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I don’t know if I have written about this recently, but I am still amazed at how many women that are my age come out saying that they have hated their bodies, or really had serious body issues. I had a friend at Uni when I was in the sorority who would barf at the end of the night and I tried it with her a couple of times, but I really hate puking. I did it just because I was up for trying it out, not because I hated my body. I had a lot of other issues growing up, but being ashamed or feeling weird about my body was never one of them. Maybe if I really think about it, I was a bit self conscious about my feet because they grew in first and in 4th grade one of the twins used to say I had Ronald McDonald feet, but I then grew into them. Then I did have a thing where I wanted to have a nose job when I was in high school, but I think it was mostly because it was kind of accepted to want that, I am quite happy with my nose actually. I still do want to get Invisalign but to me that is just light cosmetic stuff, braces are normal, and I’d like to just straighten my teeth up a bit. I’m sure I could start looking for things to point out or name that I could improve, but overall, I have a very healthy sense of self and a positive body image. I am lucky. Apparently I am a minority it seems.

I know that the magazine and media culture is really harsh. I just happen to be lucky growing up in America and looked more or less like the people on the tv. I am tall, relatively thin, nice breasts, my body has a nice proportion to it, I have naturally blonde hair, a pleasant happy looking face, it was all luck of the draw and I am thankful. So very thankful. I obviously had other things to work on in this lifetime beyond my body. Granted, I still do take care of it, I have naturally been someone who gravitates to eating healthier and fresher. I also don’t normally overeat, and I do move my body. So all things considered, my body is good to me and I am good to my body. 🙂

Back to this thing about women with the body issues and those who have come through it, it’s hard for me to actually imagine what that is really like. I have never hated myself. I may have wished that I had a different family, or that the place I lived was better, or the clothes I wore were of better quality, but all of that was external, it wasn’t an internal battle against myself. Now that I’m an adult, I get to choose all of those external things and I have chosen very well, I even created my own new family whom I absolutely adore and love. My issues were always external, all things I could change, all things that if I worked on them, would indeed change and get better. So for me to think about what that internal battle like that must have been like or is like for women who have serious body issues, I really can’t relate and I want to.

I guess part of it is that I feel like I can relate to so many different people, from various walks of life, because I have lived such a diverse and rich life so far. I can strike up a conversation with just about anyone and find some common ground. If the topic comes to body issues, I just listen and stand there but can’t really contribute other than how hard that must have been. I’m glad I can’t relate actually, and maybe that’s the point of difference, it isn’t in that way that I will positively impact their lives.

Cleaning to Allow the New

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Being in a cluttered, messy environment makes me feel very uneasy. I get to a point at home where I cannot relax until the house is somewhat in order. It could be from my roots where this phobia comes from, or it could be that I don’t get overly attached to things, and all in all I’d rather not have a bunch of stuff around for stuff’s sake. Also having been a traveler, I came to Australia with hardly anything, so everything I have now, I’ve acquired in the last six years. I clean out my closet regularly and I try to donate or give away things that I don’t need and or use. The feeling after it’s gone, is so nice, and it makes it all worth it.

The idea that you cannot take anything else in your hands if they are full, totally resonates with me. If I let go of whatever I have in one of my hands, then I can receive something new and hopefully better. I can then upgrade my life piece by piece this way. I’m okay with that, since short of a big windfall of money, this is how I will make my way and help improve our lot in life as of now.

Decluttering can seem like a monstrous task, and procrastination easily joins in on the ride. I still have issues with throwing out papers, even though I know I can scan them because I just haven’t fully gotten into that yet. I don’t throw away my journals for the same reason. I also have a hard time giving away, donating or even selling books that I think I will use. Almost everything else, I can let go of.

It’s interesting to see what I become attached to and what I can easily say good bye to. There was one stage in my life where I was so unattached to things that I gave away what I would consider now, to be very sentimental things that I cannot get back. Such things are a piece of art that my little sister made when she was in junior high. It was a copper twisted tree hanging onto a big stone, I left it with an old partner when I moved out. Another was a quilt my grandmother had sewn and gave to me that I left at my friends house, who thankfully kept it and now has it with her in California, so I know I’ll at least get that back. Strangely another is the award I won for the “Face of Voyeur” when I was a part of the Byron Fashion Show that I just left in a share house that I had been living in. I wish I would have kept these things. There are probably some others, but these come to mind quite a bit for me.

So now, when I am decluttering, letting things go, and just eliminating things from my life, I take a bit more care to keep things that I still am emotionally attached to. I don’t want to end up in the position of longing for something I can no longer have, it only takes up mental space. In general I don’t cling to the past. I am fine to move on and keep progressing in my life. I almost feel that it’s because I am easy to let things go that it is conversely also easy for me to keep moving.

Decluttering and cleaning house has profound effects. The cleaner and clearer the house, the cleaner and clearer the mind. It’s all a manifestation and if I can do one to influence the other, then so I shall.

Muse

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The idea that I am a channel for a muse is exciting. I know I have served as a muse for numerous people and I am curious if that also exists in that way. That whenever you are ready, the muse will arrive in whatever form, in the form of inspiration, or some supernatural kind of thought or vision, or literally in physical form in front of you.

In Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic she talks about how the genius is the person who works beside you, it isn’t you. This isn’t a new idea, but it’s the most recent reference I have on hand. Further both her and Steven Pressfield talk about how the muse will visit many people before they find the one that is ready to take on the project.

I then wonder if that has any influence on the fact that in different areas of the world, without modern communication tools, ancient civilisations were progressing with similar hand made tools, and languages. It could be that they were open to it, and they received the inspiration to start making hieroglyphs, or to start tracking the seasons using tombs and rocks.

So how to be open to the the muse? My first thought is the equation Preparation + Opportunity = Success. Perhaps adding in to that a holding of the space in which to create that success is necessary, hence the idea of sitting down to write every single day like it’s a job so that the muse knows you are serious, knows you are there waiting, holding the space, ready to do the work.

 

Token for One Life

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I read something earlier that reminded me that this is only one wild and crazy life that I am given. That feeling of scarcity does two things, first it makes me freak out a bit and think oh my god. The other thing that happens is it spurs my mind into motion about how I can make the best most amazing life possible.

If I know I only have one life to live, then it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about me or who I am. None of it matters. All that matters is sharing the love I have with my family and friends, and any excess, with the rest of the world.

If I think about only having one life to live, my mind then starts to jump to being a whole new person in a whole new level of playing this game of life. I have already lived many reincarnations of myself in “different lives” in this body, but there is still so much I will accomplish, that I am accomplishing, that I will experience in my lifetime.

How will I best use this token? How will I best create anchors in my life to help me on my way to creating the better version of myself and my life every single day?

Women and Entrepreneurship

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Every female entrepreneur in the scene seems to be the same same but different to me. It’s like they had this crazy corporate life, drank way too much in their younger days, had a series of relationships that didn’t fit, and finally came around to help other women get through and find what they are looking for in money, love, and health. I am also amazed at how many women have had eating disorders and now talk about them. I really had no idea that this many women really hated their bodies and were so bad to themselves in that way. This part I do not relate to on their journey, but I certainly relate to a lot of it.

The thing is as I hear it or read it, it just feels almost bland to me now that I’ve been exposed to this scene for a few years now. It feels like it needs shaking up. I know that not everyone is meant to be a one-on-one coach and that’s great, but I guess now everyone has the opportunity to publish their own work, be their own talk show host and a lot of women are taking advantage of this.

I totally support this. I really genuinely support women taking a stand and doing life a different way. It’s like we have to. It feels like we are moving out of the stage where we were trying to be like men, to a stage where we are owning our own space, way and process of getting there.

New Hair Salon Unsolicited Advice

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Browsing a local online coupon buying system similar to GroupOn, I found a hair salon that wasn’t too far from my house with what I would consider to be a smashing deal. Three and a half hours is the amount of time it takes to typically colour, cut and style my hair in the salon, even when it’s just shoulder length. I have really thick hair and it’s a blessing, but it’s also a big deal. The last time I went into the salon I felt like I had been bitch slapped when at the end the gal said it was going to be over $200. Sure, the amount of time, but really?! So this deal was just over a quarter of that price, so I jumped on it.

The salon isn’t in a fancy area, I daresay it’s the opposite, its near the train station in a town that isn’t one that people tell other people to come to because of all the great attractions it has, and that is fine. From the outside it could have been really derelict inside, but to my surprise it was coordinated, had a relatively fun feel to it, and it suited the job for the 2 hairdressers that own and work the salon. Great.

As I’m sitting down I cannot help but put my marketing eyes and brain to work. It’s natural, it’s what I think about a lot, I enjoy looking at businesses and finding ways that they can improve and be more successful. There are many things that I pick up on including the very basic option of having a self service tea and coffee stand while I wait. This is super easy and would not take much to put together. A simple beverage station would quench any thirst, and buy the hair dresser time so that that customer doesn’t feel like they are waiting too long.

When I got to the seat, I asked how many of these deals they had sold, and the guy said a lot. He didn’t know how much but that’s okay, I already knew it was over two thousand when I booked. I asked if they were in charge of pricing and he said that they weren’t and it was undervaluing his service and he said he has always charged appropriately for his service prior to now. I agreed. I said that many artists have a hard time charging their value, so it’s great as a service art that he had that under control, or did.

I asked how many people would be repeats, how many customers would actually return a second time, and he said that a lot would. Sure, I am just a nobody to them and of course they might not want to devulge their business information to me, and I get that, but I think he really didn’t know. The girl is the one who is the main owner and apparently takes care of all of that, but since there are only two of them, I would think it’s in his best interest to ensure that he is on top of it too since it directly affects his own pocket, and his reputation by undercutting his service via price.

Anyway, I asked a few questions here and there, and in the end I could tell that I needed to talk to her. So when I had the chance, when she was helping me out, I asked her, but she wasn’t really open to talking about it, other than using this ScoopOn service was to help promote their business and drive their old customers back to them.

Some things I would suggest for an up and coming, or a newly established salon to do is to 1) get the word out 2) build trust 3) create word of mouth 4) drive repeat service. Since they used Facebook to show the before and after pictures of the hair they had done and the positive reviews customers had left, this is why I chose to go to them. I suggested doing more of this to help build trust and tell their story of their value that way.

Sure using a GroupOn style service can be helpful to drive customers through the door, but it’s those same customers who will likely jump ship when another lower price comes around. They are shopping for price and usually aren’t loyal to the business. So it would be up to the salon to keep them coming back. A great way is to keep using the before and after pictures and posting them on Facebook inviting the customer to tag themselves in the photo. By simply using Facebook, they could connect with so many people. With enough customer’s before and afters they would build trust and give a pretty clear picture of their skill set before you set foot in the salon. Also by inviting the customer to tag themselves, it would then spread the word as other people would also see it who are friends with the person tagged. This is super simple and could be very effective.

For enticing a repeat service, they could offer a loyalty card so that if they came 4 times, the 5th time they got an add on for free, like a treatment or a blowout, etc. The salon could text the customer since they have those details and offer something specific to have them come again after six weeks when it’s time for a trim or a root touch up. They could create a “happy hour” so that those value driven customers know that they can come back during 2p-4p Tuesday and Wednesdays for a great price.

It’s fine to use a discount, but to do so right out the gate of opening the business feels counterproductive. There are other ways that marketing efforts can be used. However, since they have already done it, these suggestions could help them in the future. It’s all unsolicited advice and it’s up to the business if they will succeed.

 

Pre-Motherhood Judgey Bitch

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Whoa. I used to be the biggest judgey bitch about how other people were handling, or not handling their children in public. It was not beyond me at all to roll my eyes, give dirty looks, and sigh heavily when I would be around a child melting down or wild children running about reeking havoc in the grocery store. I used to always ask to myself and sometimes loud enough to where they probably could hear… “why can’t they control their children?!”. I am certain that I was not the only single person in the history of single people to have said something like that or have behaved so appalling. I was just as bad and I certainly did not make the situation any better.

Fast forward to now, where I have a baby and know very intimately what it is like to to a child into the grocery store, or any shop for that matter. There are times when my child is just so over being in his pram, or in the grocery cart and he lets everyone around know. My baby has an incredibly strong voice, his projection is something that amateur theatre actors would love to have, and for him it just comes naturally. Oh so naturally.

Now when my baby has a melt down and demands that i give him a squeezy yogurt in the shop, you know what? I do! I give him the damn thing. I let my child eat the food in the grocery store before we even pay for it. Yes, I am that person. I am also that person who is trying her best to concentrate on what has the least amount of sugar so I can give it to him all the while he is yelling and sometimes producing real tears. It’s crazy. It’s so crazy that I know I am putting off a vibe for everyone around to move out of my way while I try my best to stay calm, take deep breaths and carry on. I do my best to stay composed and I do, I really do. Underneath though… oh lord. However, I know that I need to not give him the attention, or whatever in that moment, I just need to make sure he is taken care of. I don’t want a tantrum thrower, please, not one of those!

The interesting thing is that when I see other people with kiddos, especially while this is happening, I can see the compassion, they totally understand. Then I see the oldies and they may have forgotten and seem kind of shocked. Then I see all the singletons who are quietly judging just like I did. Just wait singletons… just wait until it’s your turn.

 

Weaving Paths

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Life is so funny sometimes, most times really. I have noticed that people are weaved in and out of my life on a regular basis. Some of them I may have met, our paths had crossed, but nothing to fully keep us connected other than superficially on social media. That’s fine. The cool thing is that, as time progresses, the connection deepens, and we are able to communicate on a deeper level. It’s really beautiful.

I wonder if it also has to do with a lot of these really interesting and soulful people I met while traveling, after returning from Brazil, after diving into meditation. I was like a free radical at the time, not held down by anything. Maybe I didn’t open up completely, or maybe at the time they didn’t either. Maybe we didn’t have that one-on-one time which I find so valuable to be able to really connect with someone. Maybe it’s the wall of observation that I may put up sometimes, especially if I am new to joining a group. I like to see what they are about, what is going on, and then proceed accordingly. I wonder if that also creates a different sense of trust, or lack of trust. Who knows. Who really knows.

Gratitude is what I feel when my path and theirs reunites in this intergalactic inter web of life. It’s beautiful. I love getting to share and learning about myself and others in the process. I love that we get to catch up and allow that space to do so. Yes, thank you, more please.

Sharing Love

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I like to send cards to people. I used to hand paint and hand write them myself. I even used to hand cut them. All of this has been uber duber simplified since I have become a mother. For many reasons, mostly because of lack of “personal time” to fully be present in the making and creating of these gifts when bub is around. Currently my prime “me” time is when he naps, which is now down to one nap a day, which I am not overly happy about for the record, a second nap would make for a much happier baby and mama in my opinion, but I will happily take the early bed time if the other nap is skipped.

Thankfully the world and technology keeps on moving along so I don’t have to spend the time that i don’t really have and still be able to send cards, and I even have an app on my phone for it. How nice it is. How nice it is to be able to quickly and easily send someone a card when I am thinking of them. In a matter of a few minutes I can customise a card with a photo on it, and I can then send it out to them and rest assured that it will be printed, stamped and mailed for me. I love conveniences that make life easier without having to sacrifice on my own personal values.

Since I have opened up a bit about the very traumatic birthing process I had with my baby, many other women have since also opened up privately with me sharing their story of trauma regarding their birthing experience. It’s big. I wonder how many women actually experience something that is so hard and challenging but never get to fully express it because the societal pressure is to then move on and just be happy that the baby is healthy and here. It’s strange. and I’ve gone through it myself.

This easy card sending app then helps me to reach out to women, and this morning I reached out and sent a card to a woman I know in the US who I know will love it when she opens it. There really is something special about not only sharing the love, but doing so in a physical manner, in a way that allows for a keepsake so that the other person is reminded again and again of that love. It’s so easy to also send a text or an email, or post on someones page, but the physical letter or card really goes to the distance.

Take time to share the love. There are no downsides to this. It is good for everyone involved, absolutely everyone.