Money has a Price

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Here’s your very own

platinum card – 

the keys to the kingdom. 

We won’t say it aloud

as we’re a family quite proud

but it’s time for you

to play along

to dance around

and sing a sweet song

to smile and wave

at the events uptown. 

Don’t talk to the maids anymore

and if you cry – shut the door

and when you come out

be ready to talk about

traveling to other countries

or to just listen I should say

about the newest trip planned today.

You’ll hear the same stories

every single time

of traveling bags and empty minds

while listening to jazz

and drinking imported red wine. 

Act interested in those

at “The Club” 

laugh with those in the hot tub. 

They say this is the life

but it surely has a price. 

Unfortunately for them

as much as they would try to entice

I could never be bought

as for me freedom has no price.

Actions Not Words

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“Actions speak louder than words” 

yet I still believe what you say

but I don’t understand why you lie. 

Why not tell the truth

be honest and lay it out

not just spurt a firearm of words

from your mouth and into the air

slow it down

think about what you really want

find who you are

and be honest of high how you set the bar.

I don’t want to be around a liar

someone who just says what they think I want to hear

I’d rather be alone with my own ideas, thoughts and actions

than to have someone like that near

so stay away until you’re ready to speak

straight from the heart

of thoughts that are real

and true feelings that you feel. 

Prove it with what you do

and you’ll understand

why I find this to be such a virtue.

Vessel

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Sitting in silence

listening to my breath

without a thought of regret

my mind wanders 

to the term “vessel” 

I realize in this moment

that’s what makes me tangible

it houses my soul

it houses my mind

in this thought I’m aware of time

not in the societal sense

but in physical birth, growth, aging and death

Another thought kept passing through

lyrics that I love to listen to

“know what I want, know what I can get…”

and I’m reminded only physical limitations can be set

in this life I’m really well off 

with a strong mind and an interior so soft.

Sharing in Absolute Love

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Last night I spoke with a long time girl friend that I have known for a good 14 years… Life has taken us in different directions yet we still seem to have similar trials… I found myself telling her all of the things that I know I should adhere to as well. About being good to yourself, about making sure that you are healthy before extending your self to another person. About taking the time to stand on your own, to learn about your own soul, develop your thoughts on your own, to be strong and aware of who you are, without relying on a man to fill in the gaps. About the glory of being a woman and how it is essential to not take the freedom we have in our generation, here in America, for granted. That life is full of endless possibilities and there are so many options available at any given time. To not worry too much about trying to compromise or adjust within a relationship if there are fundamental differences that just don’t jive. To not focus too much on the future and just focus on what is happening right now. To surround your self with positive energy in your best environment where you feel the most love. To listen to the inner voice as there is always a reason when you hear it. Most importantly to keep striving for honesty in both mind and heart as good will be inevitable. Great love will come but only after Great love is found within your own soul…   

The beauty about interacting with others is that you are able to have a conversation. Specifically when you are surrounding yourself with those who are worthwhile, that have attributes that compliment yours so you can continue to learn and vice versa. To be able to flow in a conversation about love and life and being is very special… to share a part of you, right now, with another is absolute love. 

I am so blessed to have such incredible women in my life. They are beautiful souls that I learn and grown with each time we interact. Just writing this brings such warmth and love for them, my self and life.

Tao te Ching #74

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If you realize that all things change

there is nothing you will try to hold on to. 

If you aren’t afraid of dying, 

there is nothing you can’t achieve. 

 

Trying to control the future

is like trying to take the master carpenter’s place. 

When you handle the master carpenter’s tools, 

chances are that you’ll cut your hand.

Dream: My Emotional Evolution 01/03/09

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January 3, 2009

Rising with force and vigor out of the deep blue water, people trying to peek in as I shower with drops like rain on my head… another burst of ferocious energy and I’m catpulted into the air – finally out of the water – in excitement and a sense of freedom, the energy spins me around and I go higher – water droplets flying off me – Orange, Yellow, Blue

Journal Entry Sunday January 4, 2009

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I awoke this morning with an overwhelming sense of oneness with all people – that I’m just like everyone else and, in turn, they are all just like me. Everyone is the same. Its just what we do that differentiates us – but everyone has the ability to be something – its just how much they li8sten to that inner voice as to how far and in what direction they go. Most of that was all predetermined before we got here anyway – just like I chose my particular family so I could learn the lessons about love, patience and being in my life. I used to think that wasn’t something that I chose, but the environment I did choose, how others reacted and how that environment changed- as a child- I didnt’ have control – Of course, in the end and alwatys really – all I can do is be me – do what makes me my best – I have control over my self and my life – and if I choose to go a different route – if I decide to listen to my soul a little more than others to guide me – then so be it 🙂 It is my way – the way I find best suits me – I think that everyone is like this but just not everyone realizes it, accepts it and uses it to better themselves, their soul, in this small amount of time we have in this life…

The Same

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You and me we are the same

we only answer to a different name

we both have a book of life

where we have our individual chapters of strife

we both have physical bodies and brains

we both have the ability to take the reigns

just like me if you belief it – its true

making a special moment out of the blue

from the windows in which we look through

you have the choice to do the right thing

to dance to the songs that you sing

to write them yourself and make your own way

to cherish whats within our reach every single day

Finding the Place

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Need to spend more time

in the sun

with breaths of fresh air

where there’s plenty of space

where noones in a race

except the kids playing on the lawn

or the deer over yonder with her fawn.

maybe not as far as voluntary simplicity

but certainly away from the big city

brief moments and stretches in passing there

but returning back where the focus is care

where love and life thrive with ease

where you feel a caress from the breeze

where life is slower and can be enjoyed

where love and energy are always employed

like waving as you pass along

where it feels so right and you sing a song

a place where everything is fresh

and you feel at your best

where that is common among the rest

downhome love and acceptance

with wider expansions and the will for the present

where being good in all things important

the feelings, not the things ride the current

of now and whats right here

I’m not there right now, but the time is near.

Sheltered Inner Beauty

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I talked to an old friend today, someone I spent time with a long time ago, she said she had been looking for me and that she was moving. It was great to hear her voice, I had been recently thinking of her as well as she signed my going away print of the hotel when I left years ago, so the timing was perfect. I love how that works out.

A lot has happened since we last spoke, her daughter and grandchildren had already moved out East and her and her husband leave at the end of this week. They traveled around a bit and found a farm in Missouri where they will soon be calling home together. This made my heart smile and I know she could hear it over the phone. I wished her the best and we agreed to try to not lose touch like that again.

I gave her a brief nutshell of what has happened in my life and that I am writing about it now, I told her I didn’t regret going at least I found out that it wasn’t true love, that it was what it was and I have grown from it. I said it was a hard stage of life, but that I am glad I went through it. She commented that I have been so sheltered in life. I agreed. I have. I have been very sheltered in a lot of ways, but I didn’t ask her in which ways, I just assumed we were speaking of the same way… she said that I didn’t even know how sheltered I was… and I said, of course I didn’t… I didn’t think I was sheltered… I can see that I have been very sheltered. It was interesting that this would come about in a nine minute conversation after not being in communication in a couple of years.

This stayed with me and when Rachel returned home for lunch I told her about the conversation and she said she also thought I had been sheltered, but then she reframed and said that sheltered wasn’t the word she would choose, she thought for a moment, and said that I was priveleged. Priveleged and I didn’t know it. She then asked me if I realized how much inner beauty I have because of this. She said that I have inner beauty that shines to my outer beauty, that my inner beauty is just as wonderful as my outer… I didn’t know how to take such a comment or compliment, but I tried and I replied that at times I feel like I do, but other times I really don’t and it isn’t something that I think about… she said that was part of it… 

 

She says to me

You don’t know your inner beauty

do you?

You feel you’ve been sheltered

but I think you’ve been priveleged

you don’t know your limitations

you haven’t experienced a lot of rejection

like most have with time

I say I’ve just been really lucky

to have had great people around me

gorgeous, wonderful, kind people

who are deserving of the trust I give

and they have shown me that its okay just to be

I’ve just been really lucky in life

to have been in really great environments

along my path of life…

I have experienced a lot of positivity in life

it has affected me and I love that

I am fortunate

so call it priveleged or sheltered

I sure am glad to be who I am. 😀