No Haggling or Bartering Here

All around the city on any given day there are “ferias” which are essentially open air farmer’s markets. They are fantastic! Today I stumbled upon one near my dermatologists office in Higeionopolis, an affluent mainly Jewish neighborhood, a straight busride from our house. It was near the end of the feria, so the vendors were anxious to sell off whatever they had left.

Needless to say, my excitement met their anxiousnes with open arms! I didn’t haggle nor barter, but they were literally giving away their goods to me! I usually feel bad bartering with these guys after a really insightful and great person pointed out to me that the vendors are in a different position than I am, and why make their lives any harder than they already are (this was said on the Navajo Reservation a few years ago while buying a piece of art.) So if I do have the money enough to buy, I should pay their fair price and now that is exactly what I do.

The fair price today was totally in my favor! Thank god I can speak Portuguese now, it certainly gives me more crediblity than before. I walked away with 2 Huge Bags of ripe bananas, a pineapple, 10 baby eggplants, 3 big green bellpeppers, 1 beautiful red bell pepper, 3 japanese cucumbers, 4 ripe papayas, 2 packages of super ripe strawberries, a kilo of tomatoes and one big bok choy for R$10.50!!! That is a little more than $6 USD!

I was totally overloaded and was sooo relieved to put my bags down when I got onto the bus. It was quite a venture on my way back, but thankfully everyone I came in contact was so nice and helpful. I offered up bananas but noone took them. An older man was walking my way just as I turned walking into my neighborhood and was sooo kind! He helped me with half of my bags all the way up to the driveway! I tried to give him some strawberries, but he refused and said “prazer” which means “my pleasure”.

The Blank Page Apprehension

A feeling of apprehension usually fills me before I start to fill a new journal. The blank page staring at me begging me to begin. Daring me to do something bold, something different, something extraordinary. The feeling that I must make that first page something extra special used to create this enormous feeling of anxiety. It has to start somewhere, but how to start? How to start that will make this one a bit different than the last? How to outdo myself from the last time?

There have definitely been times, especially when I would have a beautiful new journal with specially designed pages, where I would be sooo anxious of what to write, that I would delay writing in it! I would hold the thoughts in my head and sometimes I would even lose them. Then in a mad rush I would scribe like a hungry man would eat his first meal in days. Word after word, page after page, with my hand starting to cramp, yet, I still continued on.

Nowadays, on a meager budget in order to buy such luxury items, I now use your basic run of the mill spril notebook with lined pages. I have learned that you really can never judge a book by its cover and I must say there is so much less pressure in an ordinary journal than a designer one. In the end it is all me anyway. So I am starting this new blog as I would any of my recent journals… by just writing out what is in my head and seeing where it takes me. No premeditation, no apprehension and no worries.

Of course this applies to any new project… whether that be a blank piece of art paper in front of me, a blank word document before I start to write a story or even when I am just starting out decorating a room… the thing I have learned though is that you have to just go for it. If you stall, if you procrastinate, the magic in that moment is lost. It will never be the same, maybe the next time around it is better, but maybe not… I never know.

So for now, I am letting it all out. The beauty of a blog post is that I can add to it later, I can take unnecessary words away and I can even delete it if necessary. This blog is not going to be really limited, although in my head I have this thought that I should keep it to just a few simple subject, but I am going to just throw that out the window for now and write on.

The maelstrom of thoughts now have a place!

I am so excited to finally have a forum for me to release the maelstrom of thoughts that swirl, dip and dive through my head. An outlet other than my journal, one that is open to eyes other than my own. Putting myself out there, not being afraid of the 30% of people that will not like it at all, hoping that the other 60% or so will and might be inspired or might find some kind of relation to what I write about. I feel like I am truly starting out on a new and unknown path and cannot wait to see what happens.