How to spark the light… the intellectual light in the dark? You can’t just point out and say “this is it.” There is a process of learning, thinking involved that eventually creates a revolution in one’s mind that creates the spark. That spark hopefully leads to light and it all has to start somewhere, but it has to be discovered individually – by one’s own merit – by one’s own way – that’s the only way for anything to have a full and major effect upon one’s life.
awareness
Einstein’s Light
Everything is about the light
striving every day to live right.
I take Einstein’s light to mean so much more
like living life without keeping score.
Listening to the interpretation of time and space
while watching the expressions formed on your face.
Slowing it down and talking about time
creates an awareness in my mind.
I love that you make me think
about relations and the importance of being in sync.
Dipping in space as our world revolves around us
this helps me to understand karma and the little stuff.
If you live by this idea you’re bound to know whats good
while funneling your energy to be understood.
So my world really does revolve around me,
this realization finally allows me to breathe.
I have control of the good, bad and neutral that comes my way,
the responsibility is mine and I know it will be okay.
This idea makes incredible sense
now I can hurdle my mental fence.
So if we keep giving all of our love
we’re sure to rise up to the plane above
creating a unique world within space and time
never being restricted, limited or confined.
Searching for our own truths while we’re here together
In our own little dip now and possibly forever.
Forgetting about “things” and focusing within
while living simply we’re bound to win.
Together you and me
will finally know what its like to finally be free.
Vessel
Sitting in silence
listening to my breath
without a thought of regret
my mind wanders
to the term “vessel”
I realize in this moment
that’s what makes me tangible
it houses my soul
it houses my mind
in this thought I’m aware of time
not in the societal sense
but in physical birth, growth, aging and death
Another thought kept passing through
lyrics that I love to listen to
“know what I want, know what I can get…”
and I’m reminded only physical limitations can be set
in this life I’m really well off
with a strong mind and an interior so soft.
Sheltered Inner Beauty
I talked to an old friend today, someone I spent time with a long time ago, she said she had been looking for me and that she was moving. It was great to hear her voice, I had been recently thinking of her as well as she signed my going away print of the hotel when I left years ago, so the timing was perfect. I love how that works out.
A lot has happened since we last spoke, her daughter and grandchildren had already moved out East and her and her husband leave at the end of this week. They traveled around a bit and found a farm in Missouri where they will soon be calling home together. This made my heart smile and I know she could hear it over the phone. I wished her the best and we agreed to try to not lose touch like that again.
I gave her a brief nutshell of what has happened in my life and that I am writing about it now, I told her I didn’t regret going at least I found out that it wasn’t true love, that it was what it was and I have grown from it. I said it was a hard stage of life, but that I am glad I went through it. She commented that I have been so sheltered in life. I agreed. I have. I have been very sheltered in a lot of ways, but I didn’t ask her in which ways, I just assumed we were speaking of the same way… she said that I didn’t even know how sheltered I was… and I said, of course I didn’t… I didn’t think I was sheltered… I can see that I have been very sheltered. It was interesting that this would come about in a nine minute conversation after not being in communication in a couple of years.
This stayed with me and when Rachel returned home for lunch I told her about the conversation and she said she also thought I had been sheltered, but then she reframed and said that sheltered wasn’t the word she would choose, she thought for a moment, and said that I was priveleged. Priveleged and I didn’t know it. She then asked me if I realized how much inner beauty I have because of this. She said that I have inner beauty that shines to my outer beauty, that my inner beauty is just as wonderful as my outer… I didn’t know how to take such a comment or compliment, but I tried and I replied that at times I feel like I do, but other times I really don’t and it isn’t something that I think about… she said that was part of it…
She says to me
You don’t know your inner beauty
do you?
You feel you’ve been sheltered
but I think you’ve been priveleged
you don’t know your limitations
you haven’t experienced a lot of rejection
like most have with time
I say I’ve just been really lucky
to have had great people around me
gorgeous, wonderful, kind people
who are deserving of the trust I give
and they have shown me that its okay just to be
I’ve just been really lucky in life
to have been in really great environments
along my path of life…
I have experienced a lot of positivity in life
it has affected me and I love that
I am fortunate
so call it priveleged or sheltered
I sure am glad to be who I am. 😀
Blind, but Starting to See…
I remember back when I was a freshman in high school, some 14 years ago now, talking to a guy friend telling him that I wished everyone were blind. I wished that we were forced to only look into each others hearts to make decisions on who we chose around us. That we would choose only the highest quality people for who they were on the inside not how they appeared to be on the outside.
My first music festival in 2005, Vegoose, was a turning point in my life. I went originally to see Jack Johnson whom I had been listening for a few years, but had no idea what to expect. It was a brilliant mix of artists, some who I had heard of before, but most that I had not. I liked the beat and the feel of the festival and that scene so much that I really started to get into it. I didn’t really know what it all meant, but I was loving it.
Sometime in 2006 I remember a friend posing a question to me… If I had the choice to be blind or deaf, which would I choose? I immediately said that I would choose to be blind, thinking back of my youthful wish. I was still so much into music and moving my body to the beat that I couldn’t imagine not being able to experience it. Along with that, if I were blind then I would be forced to solely rely on my intuition to lead me in the right direction.
Then came a huge physical turn in my life… I moved to Brazil. I heard people all the time singing along to songs and not knowing the words and I realized that I also, didn’t really know either. I began on a personal mission to look up lyrics of my favorite songs. This has been so revealing. I didn’t know the lyrics and I certainly didn’t know the meaning of the words that my favorite artists sang. This lead me to start looking up the artists themselves. It inspired me to learn about history so that I could understand the climate of the world and the US at the time the artist grew up and when they wrote the lyrics. I wanted to know why they chose the words that they chose to sing about. I wanted to know why they chose to sing about those topics. I didn’t understand, but I really wanted to so I just started to try. I was blind in another way, for so long.
I still don’t know if I really see, but I am beginning to and that makes me feel good. I can only try to do my best in any given circumstance while striving for truth and honesty in every situation.
Good People
All night I thought about the good hearted people in my life that have helped to shape who I am today. They have helped me to see my world as my world, with endless possibilities. As long as every endeavor is started with honesty, love and kindness then it will work out the way that it is supposed to. It is supposed to work out well, really well. That is what happens when you do approach your life and your decisions with a stong passionate heart, patience and an inquisitive mind.
In a way, when I stepped out of that world that I had surrounded myself in and enveloped myself in a completely different world, I wasn’t ready. I thought that everyone was essentially good with good intentions. That hasn’t always been the case while I have been living abroad. It was a hard lesson for me to learn, but on the same note, I know understand those good hearted people that I have come in contact with along my path of life on a completely different level now. I am so grateful that my eyes have opened to this. I am so grateful that I have been so blessed in life to have had the experiences that I have had. My adventures will only get better from here now that my eyes that can see a bit better from my heart than they did before.