He just wanted me
to be a doll –
beautiful and quiet,
smiling politely
around the lions and wolves
of his society.
He would urge me to shop
to spend his family’s money
he would always laugh
around his special company.
When I would speak up
about social issues
or speak with the maids
he would always excuse
“she’s American” he’d say
then revert to the
stock prices of the day.
More concerned with money
and financial affairs
with his Blackberry in hand
like a big business man.
I was fooled quite well at first
while living in the high desert
where I thought he quenched my thirst.
A little late it all became clear
after I had rearranged my life to be near.
So I distanced myself more and more
I refused to shop or buy needless things
I didn’t want to be the caged bird
I couldn’t forget how to sing.
I didn’t want him to think he had control
I wouldn’t trade money for my soul
I had to escape
I had to leave
there were greater ideas
like love in which I still believed.